Thursday, September 08, 2005

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B

Yesterday was a game heavy day for me. I must’ve played Halo and Farcry for about 10 hours straight. (Leave me alone, you try being forcefully separated from one of your favorite things to do for a year and a half, and see if you don’t splurge on your first day).

One of the bad things about long gaming sessions (along with the sore buttcheeks and carpal tunnel syndrome), is you start to have some pretty weird thought.

No, not those type of thoughts, Jack Thompson. Despite the fact I spent 10 hours yesterday shooting people and blowing stuff up in games, for some reason I don’t feel the urge to go do those things for real.

Ever wondered what life would be like if it was more like video games?

The first thing would be the save feature. Imagine being able to wake up every morning, save your progress, and knowing no matter how bad things get that day, you could do it all over if you need to.

Miss an urgent meeting? Your favourite TV show? No problem! Go back and do it again? Did that hot date go badly? Have do over! Have a really great time last night? Do it again! As many times as you like!

The great thing about life with a save feature is as well as going back to previous saves, you could have as many save points as you like. Imagine coming home from work, feeling really, really stressed out. Why not go back to those care-free days when you were 7 years old? Stay for a couple of weeks, then go back to work, refreshed and renewed.

Of course, the greatest thing about the save function would be this: It’s mid-November, you’ve got work today and the alarm goes of at 6am. It’s absolutely freezing outside, and from your nice warm bed you can see half-frozen drizzle running down your bedroom window. All you want to do is stay in bed.

Luckily, you remembered to save last night, mere minutes after you got into bed. Load that save, and it’s warm beds for as long as you like!

The slightly more evil applications would be fun as well. Your boss is really getting in your face, chewing you out…all because they made a mistake and need someone to blame it on. No problem! Just punch him as hard as you can in the face, kick him in the balls if you like…if the fancy takes you, throw him out of a window.

Then just reload your last save, and everything’s been undone. You feel a hell of a lot better and there’s no consequences.

The other great thing would be life cheat codes.

Really want that new mustang, but don’t have the cash? Go to your ATM and push up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B and watch that bank balance soar!

It could start a whole new branch of extreme sports. Just turn on the invincibility cheat, and go jump of the top of the Empire State building. Enjoy the freefall, the adrenaline rush, and when you hit the pavement at over a hundred miles an hour, simply get up, dust yourself off and do it again. Never fear crime again. Let that mugger push a gun in your face and laugh. Watch him run in fear as those .45 caliber rounds just bounce off.

Rather than pay exorbitant air fares, simply turn on the fly code, and fly yourself to your destination. Never lock yourself out again, just turn on the no-clipping code, and walk directly through the walls. What convenience!

It’d be great…you know it would.


Vicarious Living said...

btw - like the new header

MC Etcher said...

Hell yeah!! Sounds great to me.

I didn't know you invented an engine! How embarrassing that I didn't recognize your name.

But then, I am embarrassed easily...

Paulius said...


Finally someone notices my new header! You've no idea how proud I am of that. Made with literally minutes of photoshop experience.

Oh, and on the same post, someone actualy noticed my simpsons blackboard-esque tag lines. I'd changed it about 10 times already...I was wondering whether to bother continuing!

MC Etcher said...

Oh, we notice, don't think we don't.