Correcting Certain Errors.

I realised that for yesterday's sketch a day, Kato suggested Optimus Prime in a Mariachi Band, not just Optimus Prime AS a mariachi singer.

As I was low on ideas for today's sketch a day as well, I decided to fill out the band. After a few moments thought, I realized only another 'Prime' could possible be in a band with Optimus, and while I think Rhodimus Prime is a gigantic douchebag, there was only one prime left:

Fruit Fucker Prime from 'On the Rain-Slick Precipice Of Darkness':

Hi-Tech Hog Hunting

Sunny and I have been having a little trouble recently with a groundhog that's taken up residence under our house. Not only is the sound of it moving around driving the cat bonkers, we can hear it gnawing on the floor joists under the living room.

Well, early this afternoon, I saw the cat do a classic double-take out of the living room window and I went over to see what had him so interested. I was expecting to see a few birds pecking at the ground, but instead, tha fat bastard annoying groundhog was jus standing directly in front of the window.

Of course, by the time I got my shoes on, grabbed my shotgun, got the ammo out of the safe and opened the door, it had dissapeared under the house again.

So I had the idea to put some apples out in front of the house as bait, but realised that unless I wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon staring out the window, I'd never spot it again.

Then, I had a brainwave.

I fired up Sunny's laptop, plugged in it's webcam and set it up pointing out of the kitchen window at where I placed the apples. Then I called my desktop computer over skype...and now I have an ad-hoc 'security camera' keeping an eye out for the little bastard while I watch a couple episodes of Torchwood on the computer.

Just call me MacGuyver.

Oh, and when I finally do get the little bastard, I'm making some goddamn slippers out of him.

Ok, that's a little weird

I was totally out of inspiration for today's Sketch a Day over at my other blog, so I decided to ask the people following me on Twitter for some suggestions.

Fellow blogger Kato suggested 'Optimus Prime in a Mariachi Band'. After a suggestion like that I had no choice but to do it.

It was a really quick 15 minute sketch, and it was really difficult because I've never drawn Optimus Prime before and it's hard to get two reference pictures that match because there are so many versions...but I liked it and I'm seriously considering spending a few hours and putting together a good version of this.

However, I'm still low on ideas for sketch-a-day, so any help would be greatly appreciated.

Ambivalent would be an understatement

I just stumbled across an article in Wired Magazine about a guy who was arrested and convicted for owning Japanese comic books that had 'depictions of child sex and bestiality' in them.

I really don't know how to feel about this, for a number of reasons.

My first thought is that it's very hard to have any sympathy for a guy who gets off on child porn and bestiality. It's also pretty fair to point out that a guy who gets off on cartoon drawings of child porn would get off in the 'real thing' as well.

The thing I don't like is that his arrest sets a very dangerous precedent.

Firstly, the law this guy was prosecuted under (The 2003 Protect Act) outlaws cartoons, drawings, sculptures or paintings depicting minors engaging in sexually explicit conduct, and which lack "serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value."

My question is simple. What constitutes serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value?

Obviously, is this case, it's clear cut… but this act forces judges and juries to make calls based on their own specific morals and values rather than on clear cut facts. Basically, whether you go to jail or not depends on the Judge and jury's personalities more than anything else.

For example, not many people realize that in Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet', the titular characters are only about eleven years old, and while it's not explicitly shown, they do consummate their marriage…so by today's laws and standards, Romeo and Juliet is a play about an underage couple eloping, having sex and then killing themselves.

My point is simple. If I wrote a play today that featured two pre-teens having sex then killing themselves, I'm fairly certain I'd fall foul of these anti-obscenity laws.

The problem is that there really is no clear cut way to decide what has 'value' and what doesn't.

Ok, if we're completely honest with ourselves, it's pretty difficult to imagine any situation when drawings of children in sexual situations could be considered art…but that brings me to my second problem.

They're basically arresting the guy for 'thought crime'.

Here's the thing. No matter how sick or depraved I think this guy is, you shouldn't be able to arrest someone based on the things they like or the way they think if they never act on those thoughts.

Laws are in place to protect people, and we arrest people for breaking laws, not for thinking about breaking them. I'm sure there are plenty of people who don't steal or shoplift through fear of getting caught rather than because they morally know it's wrong.

Basically, if I wrote a post about how I saw they'd left the loading dock open at Best Buy, and how I could have easily stolen a TV, but didn't because I was too afraid I'd get caught…does that mean I should be arrested for shoplifting? A fantasy, no matter how sick, depraved or socially unacceptable, isn't illegal unless it's actually acted upon.

In all honesty, if we could be arrested for the things we think about, I think the vast majority of us would have done some serious jail time. We've all gotten angry and fantasized about giving someone a smack and there are plenty of artists and writers who 'kill off' characters that are based on people they don't like very much.

As sick and perverted as I think this guy is, I think that all this law is doing is removing the 'safe' outlet for this guy's urges. Even worse, they're making the punishment for his 'safe' outlet the same as for the actual crime. If the punishment for throwing a dart at a picture of someone you don't like is the same as the punishment for punching the person you don't like in the face…who's going to throw darts at pictures any more?

To close, I'd just like to make it clear that I'm not defending or condoning child pornography in any form. I personally think that this guy is sick and that jail is the perfect place for him. The only thing I'm contending is the idea that this law could lead to others where we could one day be arrested based on our moral values instead of the crimes we commit.

One of the main reasons art exists is because it's a victim-free outlet for the things that the majority of society considers to be unacceptable. Basically, I don't want to go to jail because someone thinks the murder victim in the book I'm writing is too similar to a real life person.

 

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1. Use an eyecatching template.
   

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1. You are the most interesting person in the world.
   

Don't bother expressing opinions on things people may have heard of, talk entirely about pointless shit that happened to you and your friends that no one else will be able to understand, relate to or care about. Better still, refer to everyone by their first initial only. Trust me, everyone will want to hear about the time J got mad at P because F said R didn't like S. If you can't think of anything else to write, talk about what a totally unreasonable bitch your math teacher was for picking on you, just because you haven't handed in any homework for six months and spend every lesson texting on your phone.

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So you've started your blog and written on hundred-word post about how G said something REALLY FUNNY which made E spray coke out of his nose and it went all over R who got mad because F laughed at B even though the coke totally ruined M's jeans. That's more than enough. Now, instead of developing your blog into something people might actually want to read, go and spam everything you can find. It doesn't matter if it's someone else's blog or a youtube video about something totally unrelated…just write "HeY I ToTaLLy LuV UR wEB! ViSIt My BlOg!"

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Some people may visit your site and leave rude comments about you spamming their site. Ignore them. They're obviously just jealous of your awesome blog because theirs doesn't have an awesome flashing background and a dancing singing anime ferret jumping up and down behind their text.

1. Patience is for idiots.
   

It's been at least three days and you're not getting any hits. Blogging is stupid. Abandon your blog, never write anything on it again. You're doing everyone a favor by making sure they can't use the URL your blog is under, which is obviously the whole reason no-one visited your blog in the first place