Monday, December 29, 2008

Remind Anyone of Anything?

Today while I was clicking the Stumble button, I found this little gem.

I laughed pretty hard that anyone could be so stupid, then I felt a little sad for the state of the human race.

The above link will take you to a propaganda comic book released during the 80's during the height of the 'Satanic Panic'. It's hilarious in a lot of ways…but scary in others, and not scary in the way it's intended.

During the 80's the general public (read: People who have never played, seen or even glanced at a Dungeons and Dragons game) decided that D&D was Satanic, evil and was going to destroy the world's youth. They took a game that involves creative thought, teamwork, problem solving, math skills and teamwork and decided it was evil for no reason other than that there was a picture of a dragon or a demon on the box.

Of course, if you've ever played the game, you know it's about as satanic as a care-bear. 99.9% of D&D campaigns have the players fighting against the demons and evil entities…but why let common sense get in the way of a good moral panic.

The comic makes for hilarious reading. For example, a new player's terrified reaction when their character gets killed.

Here's what happens when your character gets killed in a D&D game. If your DM's pretty relaxed you just erase the name at the top of your character sheet, write in a new one and re-join the rest of the adventurers as a new character. Worst case scenario, the DM makes you roll a whole new character from scratch.

How does the comic-book character react to the death of her fictional character? She screams like she's being eaten by a shark and hangs herself…because 'it was her fault' her character died and she 'can't face life alone'.

Of course, unbalanced kids aside, things get much more interesting later on when it turns out that D&D is really just a 'Satanic Training Program' and your DM can teach you real magic spells.

That's all D&D is people! So Devil-worshippers can get their hands on your kids and groom them for WITCHCRAFT!

That's the part that gets me. That in the internet age the whole country can still freak out that their kids are learning 'Dark Magic'. To be completely honest, if I had a kid that chose to hang around with his friends performing 'spells' I'd just laugh at his overactive imagination and be happy he wasn't doing drugs or joining gangs. Let's just say watching Sunny's grandkids pointing sticks at things and shouting "Wingardium Leviosa" are the least of their parent's worries.

Of course, the most laughable element is that your average D&D Dungeon Master is actually a powerful dark wizard. I've played a few D&D games in my time, and let's just say if the last DM I played with was able to use a 'Mind Bondage' spell like in the comic to make people do whatever he wants…he'd probably have been a lot more popular with the ladies and a whole lot richer.

It's almost 2009 people. I know we can't agree on much, but can we at least agree that magic isn't real?

I mean…even the pixies don't believe in magic.

1 comment:

Evan 08 said...

My mom used to think that D&D was a form of satan worship. But then again, she sent Jimmy Swaggart money too.