A Christmas Poem

As recited by Paulius' Dad:

T'was Christmas Day in the workhouse,
By far the happiest day of the year.
The men's hearts where full of Christmas joy,
Their bellies full of beer
And as the workhouse master strode through those lofty halls,
He said "We wish you a Merry Christmas!"
…And someone shouted "BALLS!"

The workhouse master grew angry and swore by all his Gods:
"You'll get no Christmas Puddin', you dirty rotten sods!"
Then up strode one young worker, his face as bold as brass:
"We don't want yer Christmas puddin'! Shove it up your ass"

Note: For the official 'reciting to a young child version' swap 'BALLS!' for 'Zip it!" and "Shove it up your ass" for "Roll 'em on the grass". That was the