Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Michelle? You DO have a big nose.

Anyone seen that Butterfinger Crisp ad?

For those who haven’t here’s a Brief synopsis:

Guy is at a basketball game with his girlfriend.
The scoreboard shows the message “Michelle - Will you Marry Me?”
Guy says “Michelle? Can you see how much time is left in the game?”
Michelle is far to into her butterfinger crisp bar to give him any attention, until finally he says: “Michelle! Look at the screen!”
…Just in time for the picture to change to an ad for a plastic surgeon who specialises in nose jobs. Michelle has a gigantic schnozz, takes offense, and dumps her popcorn onto the guy’s head and storms off.

I have a few problems with this advert.

First of all, the message this ad seems to be putting across is:

“Give your girl a Butter Finger Crisp, and it will totally fuck up your relationship!”

However, my biggest problem is with Michelle herself. Basically, she’s a royal bitch, and totally self involved.

Let me plead my case:

Her guy takes her to a basketball game. What does this tell us? Either:

a) She likes basketball, so he’s being a good boyfriend.
b) She doesn’t like basketball, so he’s doing the classic proposal fake-out. Take her somewhere she doesn’t like, let her think he’s being self centred…which doubles the surprise when he pops the question in front of everyone….making her feel special and the center of attention.

Michelle 0, Michelle’s Boyfriend 1

Also, she does have a gigantic nose. Yet, her boyfriend is still asking her to Marry him. Showing that he’s not shallow, and not hung up on looks:

Michelle 0, Michelle’s Boyfriend 2

He even bought her chocolate AND popcorn, showing that not only does he not care about her nose, he doesn’t care if he puts on a few pounds either.

Michelle 0, Michelle’s Boyfriend 3

So far, we’ve established that Michelle’s boyfriend is an all around nice guy. Looks and weight just aren’t important to him. He’s also gone to all the trouble of paying for his marriage proposal to appear on the scoreboard at a basketball game…which shows he’s generous, and likes to make Michelle feel special.

However, despite all this, Michelle finds her candy bar to be much more important than paying attention to her great, ‘real catch’ of a guy. He’s gone to all this trouble, but she’s essentially telling him “Go fuck yourself, eating a small piece of chocolate is more important to me than anything you’ve got to say.” I mean, that message was up there for a full 20 seconds, and he couldn’t get her to look at it.

Michelle -1, Michelle’s Boyfriend 3

Yup, she’s got the greatest guy in the world, but cares more about stuffing her face than listening to him.

Then we see the reaction when she actually looks at the screen, and sees the plastic surgery ad.
We know that because her boyfriend has gone to all this trouble, there’s a very high probability that he’s a good guy all the time…despite this, she doesn’t give him the benefit of the doubt, or even take the time to ask him what he means.

Michelle -2, Michelle’s Boyfriend 4

Her extreme reaction and willingness to humiliate her long-term boyfriend in front of everyone… about a simple misunderstanding about her gigantic nose shows that, unlike her boyfriend, she has no sense of humor. This also show that she is extremely shallow and hung up about her looks.

Michelle -3, Michelle’s Boyfriend 4

In short…dude, Michelle’s a real stuck up, selfish bitch…you’re better off without her.


Vicarious Living said...

Did something bad happen to you once, while eating a Butterfinger? Or while dating a girl named Michelle?

Paulius said...

nope, but something bad once happened to me while eating a Michelle brand candy bar, while dating a girl named 'Butterfinger Crisp'

(Her parents were hippies)

Kato said...

He'd be happier with "The King" from the Burger King ads. I hear he's meatnormous.