Thursday, October 06, 2005

Keyword Statistics (or All Internet Users Are Morons)

Yup, It's that time again folks, for those wacky and weird search engine queries, that have landed The Worst The Internet Has To Off (tm) right here.

Without Further Ado:

Student versus school sexual harassment settlements

I don't even wanna know. Nuff said.

Kato Katonian

Either Kato's internet star is rising beyond all control, our our evil genius friend has been googling his own name, to stroke his already evil-warped ego.

Kato Katonian

Nope, this isn't a mis-type, someone searching for him landed here, twice! Kato, you've either got a far too inflated ego, or a stalker. I'll let you decide which.

American Misconceptions about England

Had this one a few times. For the ext person that lands here, they think we live in thatched cottages, and live on a diet of nothing but tea and crumpets...they also think we have bad teeth and still live in medieval times. Ok? Can you stop searching now?

Changing Spaces Wire Shelving

This one worries me a little bit. Either this person finds videos of shelves falling down hilariously funny, and worth the time to search and download...or they saw this crappy shelf, and want plans for one of the their own. (For people who didn't see that show (IE, The sane who have lives), woman builds shelf from left over wood and wire. Shelf falls down, destroying the home owners entire collection of expensive antique teapots. Har, bloody har)

Vanilla mints target

What the hell is the deal with Targets vanilla mints? More people land here trying to find them than anything else! let me give you a hint, people. , That's where you'll find them. What's the deal? Are they laced with crack or something?

Doublemint Twins

Bit of left handed web-surfing, eh, sir?

Homemade costumes Halloween pillsbury dough boy

For the people who want to dress up as a marketing device for Halloween, but just don't want to shell out the money for it. (They probably spent all their money on Pillsbury cookies...greedy bastards).

The Ramp Jesus God Channel

Either the makers of religious TV have gone totally ape with the title of their new channel, or we have a dyslexic god-botherer. Hope he's not an insomniac as well...imagine sitting up all night, wondering if there's a dog!

Amel Muzz

Hi, I'm Amel Muzz, and I'm a pagan! Muahahahah!

Sigh, Dragnet...what a great movie.


Huh? Uhhhhh. Errrrrrrm. Why are you looking for hunchbacks on the internet? Oh, dear God! I hope that's not some new fetish. Ugh, I'm going to have to go shower now.


Errr, again, what kind of 'array'? An array of idiots who can't use google?


I'm going to say this for the last time. If you can't tell the difference between the address bar, and the google search bar, chances are you're not going to make $50,000 in your first month using your computer to start a home business. Then again, that you're stupid enough to fall for the infomercial ("This wasn't one of those get rich quick schemes, but guess what? I did!"), you're exactly the kind of person they're looking for. That you can't use a computer just qualifies you even more...hey, wanna join my pyramid scheme?

Well, that's it for today folks.

"The Internet, making the average person feel smarter for over a decade!"


Kato said...


Vicarious Living said...

I'm jealous of you and Kato and probably all the other bloggers out there. My search engine queries are up to about 5 in as many months. Hmmph, fine, whatever.

Paulius said...

Two things:

2000 word long posts

Updates at least once a day.

basically, the more words on your blog, the more search engine hits.

I also have no life, so get to spend a lot of time blogging

OzzyC said...

Doublemint Twins
Bit of left handed web-surfing, eh, sir?

Ummmm.... no, I'm left-handed ;)

Paulius said...

Ah, ozzy, so it was you!

You're a dirty, dirty man.