Super Nightime Sleepy Snoozy Snooze

Today’s post is going to be a little shorter than usual. I’m literally fighting to stay awake, and I’ve no idea why.

Sleep is a strange thing. You never actually want to go to bed ‘early’ (especially when you’re a child), but when the alarm goes off in the morning, you’d sell your own mother for an extra hour.

In other words, getting into bed is the last thing you want to do, but once you’re in bed, the last thing you want to do is get out.

Now, many of you may look at the timestamp on this post and say: “No idea why he’s tired? It’s 1.30am for f**k’s sake! This guy is obviously on crack, insane, and possibly a sex offender.”

Well, as most of my regular readers will know, I’m currently living a nocturnal lifestyle. I get up at around 2pm, and go to bed at around 7am. You see, Sunny works nights, and after $40,000 and a 2 year visa process, I tend to stay up all night to avoid getting into a situation where I sleep while she’s awake, and I get out of bed while she’s getting in.

Basically, we didn’t go through everything we did to only see each other for an hour per day.

In other words, my body clock is screwed. Completely and utterly jiggered. My circadian rhythm is about as rhythmic as Evander Holyfield on ‘Dancing With The Stars’.

I suppose it doesn’t help either that the weather has been between 95 and 103 degrees for the past few weeks, so in order to prevent our living room from turning into a blast furnace, we keep the curtains drawn all day.

I think I’ve seen the Sun a grand total of two or three times over the past 2 weeks.

I don’t think I’ve slept like a normal person since I was 18.

When I turned 18, I got a job as a bartender. I’d be at Uni for most of the day, come home, grab something to eat, then head off to work. I’d get home at around 3am, and as any bartender will tell you, you need a good couple of hours ‘winding down’ time after a hectic shift. If I had to be at uni at 9am the following morning…well you can see the situation I was in.

Basically, I now walk around all day in a fog, and only start to actually wake up and come alive once the sun goes down.

It also doesn’t help that I suffer from frequent bouts of insane-level insomnia. There’s nothing more frustrating than being absolutely exhausted, but every time you actually lie down and close your eyes, sleep becomes more elusive than a particularly clever turkey at Christmas time.

(Before I get my usual response to stating I have insomnia…yes, I’ve tried a sleep-aid, yes, I’ve cut out everything caffeinated and no, I’m not stressed about anything. I can sleep like a baby for weeks, then suddenly have a week or so where I only get about 20 minutes sleep a day).

Basically, since I turned 18, my sleep habits have not been what you’d call ‘normal’. Two hours a night for a couple of days, then a normal nights sleep, then another couple of days with little sleep…It won’t be long before the little men that live in my head and run my body go on strike.

My other weird sleep habit is the length of time I sleep.

I can function perfectly well on 2-3 hours sleep a night. I can function on 12 hours+ a night. However, anything between that, and it feels like I haven’t slept at all. In other words, the mythical 8 hours doesn’t do me a damn bit of good.

I think it’s because during my Uni days, those were the time-lengths I slept. If I was working, I’d get about 2 hours sleep. Then when I finally got a day off, I’d sleep for as long as possible to catch up.

Anyway, I’ve just re-read what I wrote, and I’m just rambling and not making a whole lot of sense…so I’ll actually go to bed.

G’night.