Saturday, July 16, 2005

GTA Bandwagon Jumping - Update

Well, there's new information in the GTA San Andreas debate.

Apparently, Jack Thompson, the gentleman who allegedly 'coached' Hilary Clinton on GTA San Andreas, has shown his amazing knowledge of computers and computer games by accidentally emailing a letter meant for the District Attorney of Minnesota, to one of the many people who emailed him to complain about his recent open letter to the ESA.

His email, entitled 'Probable Criminal Sale of Sexual Material Harmful to Minors by Best Buy and Target in Hennepin County in Violation of Minnesota Statute 617.291, et
sequitur', also shows that this idiot, along with Hilary Clinton doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.

Bandwagon jumping, anyone? As for him 'coaching' Hilary, I've never seen a bigger case of 'the blind leading the blind' in all my life.

His email is laughable. Here are some choice excerpts:

"I write to inform you of a flagrant breach of the rules... It involves the knowing theft of the innocence of hundreds of thousands of children in the Twin Cities and around the country...Senator Clinton decried the ongoing distribution across the nation of a violent video game entitled Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, which sales are resulting in the viewing of sexually explicit material by minors."

Now get this, not only is San Andreas immoral, and involves the 'theft of innocence' from children...GTA is, in fact, part of a criminal conspiracy! Here's the excerpt:

"it would appear that there is probable cause that Best Buy and Target are at their highest corporate levels involved in the criminal distribution and/or conspiracy to
distribute sexual material harmful to minors in violation of Minnesota Statute 617.291 et sequitur."

A criminal conspiracy! Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

What's next Mr. Thompson? Forcing everyone to wear tinfoil hats to stop the commie aliens from stealing our brain waves? Wearing lead underwear so computer-game evil doesn't make you sterile?

Oh my God, I hope you're sterile. The fact you may reproduce terrifies me.

Why stop there? Why not try to start the capture and incarceration of all Homesexuals, just in case they give our children 'gay'? Why not ban anyone foreign from entering the country, because they'll corrupt our children with their evil foreign ways? Oh, and don't forget to band curvy table legs in case they 'inflame young men's desires', and send them off on a rape spree!

Anything else? Ban bright colours? Loud noises?

For someone who appears to have an such amazing knowledge of the law, you're as dumb as a box of rocks, thick as a submarine door and if stupidity were bricks, you'd be the great wall of china. Conversely, if brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to power an ants motorcycle around the outside of a penny.

If ignroance and stupidity ever go for $2 a barrel, I want drilling rights on your head.

You missed one minor thing, Mr. Thompson, one small but crucial thing...the huge effing 'M' on the box that says 'For Mature Audiences Only'.

Let me be absolutely clear. IT'S A GAME FOR ADULTS, YOU IGNORANT PRICK! Best Buy and Target are not part of a 'Criminal Conspiracy' to 'steal children's innocence'. They're selling extremely tame 'adult material' to adults.

That should solve your worries. Unless of course, you're just trying to force your beliefs on other people in general. You know, trying to tell other adults what they can and can't watch, read or view. I'm sure that there may be one or two little things in the US Constitution about doing that.

Now you may be wondering what has got me so fired up. Basically, I read the correspondence between Mr. Thompson, and a gamer that was posted on a forum. Despite the fact that Thompson has set himself up as the moral and intellectual expert on these matters, he apparently beleives that the correct responce to a very polite email giving the other point of view is 'Get Lost'.

He also says in his emails:

"I'm not interested in gamers' thoughts, as that phrase constitutes the
latest oxymoron. If you want to stop playing your pixel fantasies for a
year so your brain can recover, thus allowing you to be rational, then get
back to me then. Blessings, Jack Thompson"

So, apparently, all gamers are stupid. I wish someone told me! I wouldn't have bothered getting that degree in English if I realised I was stupid! The 'be rational' part actually made me laugh out loud. Accusing two major electronics retailers of being part of a criminal conspiracy, because they sell an M rated game, is rational. The fact that the 'sex scene' in the game has to be unlocked with specialist software doesn't come into it.

This is guy who took a case to court, saying that a child 'trained on Doom', which caused him to be a better killer. That's strange, I played 'Doom' for months...yet after arriving in the USA, I didn't have the first clue how to load, cock and fire a gun. By his 'rational' reasoning, I should have picked up a rifle, and instantly been a crack shot.

I'm not going to labour my point. If you want to see what a weird, psycho idiot that this guy is, read this thread on the RBA Forums

Oh, and just in case you actually read this, Mr. Thompson, and given your ability to completely miss the obvious, before you get 'lawyer happy', and try to sue me...I'd just like to save you a little bit of time and remind you that under US Law, a person's OPINION delivered in any public forum, can not be construed as libel or slander.

Oh, and in my opinion, you couldn't find your ass with both hands and a map, and you're a complete and utter dildo.


SL said...


Correction: thick cunt.

MC Etcher said...

Very sad.