Monday, October 19, 2009

Moleskine Notebooks

Let me be absolutely clear:

If you own a Moleskine, you are a douchebag.

Let's say I'm walking down the street and I see a guy walking along with a regular old sketchbook/notebook in his hand or under his arm. What does than note/sketchbook say about him?

It says, "Here is a guy who likes to draw things or write things down."

Now, let's say that same guy is walking down the street with a thirty dollar Moleskine in his hand. What does it say about him?

It says, "NOTICE MY MOLESKINE!!!!!!! I HAVE A MOLESKINE!!! NOTICE MY MOLESKINE!!! ALL THE COOL KIDS HAVE ONE! SO THAT MEANS I'M COOL, RIGHT? I'M OBVIOUSLY A REALLY INTERESTING AND MYSTERIOUS ARTIST/POET!!! NOTICE MY MOLESKINE EVERYBODY!!! NOTICE MY MOLESKINE AND WISH YOU WERE A MYSTERIOUS AND COMPLEX ARTIST JUST LIKE ME!"

Oh, and for the record, the only think in his Moleskine is a shopping list, his mom and dad's birthdays and a fictional girl's name next to an equally ficticious phone number inside a heart.

Here's the deal, kids. You can get a 5x7 hardbound sketchbook at your local art supply store for four bucks. You can buy a spiral-bound notebook at the Dollar General for seventy five cents. If you're willing to spend twenty or thirty dollars for a Moleskine, you're not buying a book to sketch or make notes in, you're buying a fashion accessory to get noticed with. Stephen King wrote the first draft of Carrie on a card table in his trailer's laundry room. Picasso sketched on napkins. Having so-called 'cool' or 'artistic' stuff, does not actually make you cool or artistic. It makes you a massive posing toolbox.

Basically, if you own a Moleskine, you're the equivalent of the guy who takes his laptop to Starbucks to 'write' so people will see him writing and notice that he's a writer.

In fact, you're worse than that. You're the guy who pulls out your iPhone on a crowded bus and then pretends to have a conversation on it, just so people will notice you have one. You think everyone's looking at you and thinking you're obviously so successful and cool…when everyone really just thinks you're a massive wanker.

So, yeah… Moleskine = Douchebag. Remember that.

4 comments:

Sunny said...

.......until your phone rings while you're "talking" on it, that is!!

Moleskiners.com said...

oh! and where does all that angst come from my friend? :)

neverusethis said...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2009/02/24/122-moleskine-notebooks/

This was posted 7 months before your article.

Funny, it is basically the same thing and includes the same jokes and same reasoning.

I guarantee you have seen this blog before.

Worse than owning a Moleskine is a blogger stealing a concept or joke from a successful blog.

Paulius said...

Yeah, you totally got me. Because that post is literally the ONLY POST ON THE INTERNET about Moleskines makes the same points I did. So I stole it and wrote a vaguely similar article.

Sorry my ruse, where I wrote multiple posts about drawing and my experiences buying art supplies before this one. To make it look like it was my opionion on something I experienced.

You've shown me the error of my ways, and now I feel the need to expose plagarism in all forms.

For example, I recently read a blog post saying Obama was ruining America...better call FOX and tell them a plagarist is ripping them off.

Go fuck yourself you retarded asshole