Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's the Sattelites...Honestly!

There’s an episode of Doctor Who were ‘The Master’ takes over the planet by masquerading as a human and running for Prime Minister. He does this by putting communication satellites in orbit that secretly create a ‘psychic field’.

This ‘psychic field’ doesn’t control everyone, it just gives them a vague sense that The Master is a great guy, and that he’s right and everyone should vote for him.

Anyone else ever get the feeling that Microsoft and Bungie are doing exactly the same thing right now?

I’m talking, of course, about Halo 3.

I played the original Halo when it first came out, and can honestly say that my reaction to the game was a half-hearted ‘meh.’

Don’t get me wrong, it was a good game…but it wasn’t outstanding or special. The idea was good, but the environments were extremely samey, the weapons weren’t new or interesting and the only really ‘innovative’ part was an early and crude physics engine (it only effected the vehicles).

I read the, quite frankly, masturbatory reviews and wondered if I’d played the same game as the reviewers. A reasonable review would have called Halo ‘above average’ at best…instead we got a series of “OMGWTFBBQ!!! THIS IS TEH ROXXORS!”

You know we’re in trouble when professional reviewers fall prey to blatant fanboyism.

Then I played Halo 2, and considered it a minor improvement over the original with better graphics. As usual, the gaming press acted like they’d been sent a crate of highly trained, oiled up supermodel nymphomaniacs instead of a review copy.

So my expectations for Halo 3?

I can honestly say I have none because I won’t be buying it.

With games out there like Battlefield and Call of Duty, I find it really hard to get excited about an over-marketed and over-hyped sequel to an average shooter.

Anyway, whatever Time Lord has taken over the planet, his evil scheme obviously has something to do with the Xbox360 and Halo 3. I put my money on Xbox360’s actually being disguised evil robots, and Halo 3 contains the ‘Activate and Exterminate’ command.


MC Etcher said...

You know, some of us have not seen that episode yet, Mr. Spoilerman... Wait, it hasn't even aired in the US, has it?


Paulius said...

I have my British sources, Etcher...I'm very well connected.

Oh, but just to set your mind at rest, I told you nothing that you don't find out in the first 5 minutes of an AWESOME two parter.

So, to put in into perspective before you get too mad at me...It's like I 'spoiled' Star Wars for you by telling you that it's set in space and that Darth Vader is the bad guy.