Monday, September 17, 2007


In the pantheon of idiocy, there’s a special clan of idiots who stand head and shoulders about their mentally challenged counterparts.

These are the idiots who do something that only has one possible outcome, and that outcome is severe injury. What sets this particular clan of uber-idiots apart is that they get the idea from watching someone else do the same thing.

For example, a few years ago, someone broke into the lion’s cage at London Zoo. What he thought was going to happen when he was locked in with ferocious man eaters is beyond me. Now, while this guy is a simply spectacular idiot…he has nothing on the next guy.

You see, when this story was on the news, an uber-idiot saw it…and decided it was a really good idea.

How does that work? Did this guy watch the news, see the first idiot get mauled and think “I’m havin’ some of that! That looks awesome!” Or did he watch the guy get mauled and think “Dude, you’re totally doing it wrong!” and head to the zoo to show the correct way to pet lions?

(As an aside, lots of commentators appeared on the news, suggesting that the cage was built ‘wrongly’ and allowed people to climb in. One even suggested that some sort of extra deterrent be put into place…ummm…like what? How about a group of vicious animals that will attack anyone who enters the cage?)

A few months ago, many of you will have seen the web video of a group of idiots who sat in the middle of a playground roundabout while one of their dumbass friends put the back tire of his moped on it. They quickly learned a lesson in centrifugal force as they were thrown bodily from the ride…realizing that it’s pretty hard to hold onto a piece of playground equipment that is rotating at over 40mph.

The clip made the news, and the reporter said the police were looking for the people involved.

So, let’s run through the checklist, shall we:

1) Stupidly dangerous stunt.

2) Ends in disaster.

3) Very easy way to end up crippled/dead.

4) Good chance of getting arrested if you survive.

5) Bunch of uber-idiots.

Yep, all the ingredients are there, and it was only a matter of time before someone saw that video, and after seeing those two girls ejected from the ride like rag-dolls, thought “Hur hur, that looks fun! Let’s go do it!”

…and of course they did.

Watch the video closely. You can see the guy in the roundabout’s center start off with the usual uber-idiot shit-eating grin, that slowly changes as he realizes that the thing's going much faster than he thought it would.

“Oh my God! It’s happening just like I saw in the video! Exactly the same thing is going to happen to me as happened to those people in the video who did exactly the same thing as I’m doing now! Who knew!?!?!”

My friends…

Darwin at work, pure and simple.

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