Sunday, April 29, 2007

More from the Bloody Stupid Files

I lost the link to the original story, but this was something I just had to share:

A rather naïve woman was tricked by a guy who told her he had to administer ‘ointment’ to her, using the tip of his penis.

She only realized that the guy was using this ‘treatment’ as a trick to have sex with her nine months later, when she told her doctor about the treatment. Apparently, the guy didn’t even pretend to be a gynecologist…but pretended to know one who gave ‘advice’ about the treatment.

Apparently, a clock next to the bed and the guy saying “Ok, the gynecologist told me to thrust slowly for the first 5 minutes, then fast for the next five.” Was all the convincing this woman needed.

Just to make things even worse, did I mention that this woman was a school-teacher? No wonder kids grades are so low.

Ok, ok, I know that this is rape and not really something to laugh at but how could anyone, especially a school teacher, be this stupid?

Ladies, if you meet a guy in an airport, and he tells you that you need a gynecological treatment, and that he’s going to do it by rubbing ointment on the end of his hoo-ha, and then putting it in you…how many of you are going think “Ok, that sounds reasonable”?

I could understand if this was a guy actually pretending to be a gynecologist, and just ‘applied the ointment’ using his fingers, while in an elaborately staged and decorated fake doctors office…but seriously, come on!

You see, if I was in charge, this would be a textbook case of the “Being Bloody Stupid Act of 2007”. The guy would go to jail for rape, but the woman would get at least a year’s community service on three counts of being bloody stupid.

Our second story from “The Bloody Stupid Files”:

This is a direct quote from a letter written to the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

“You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest march since the beginning of last century…This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know Daylight Savings Time started almost a month early this year. You would think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?

Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before congress passes laws with such far reaching effects.”

Well, that would be fine if she realized that ‘any reasonable person’ understands that DST has absolutely no effect on how much sunlight reaches the planet. I’m sure the politicians wish they had the power to control the planet’s rotation speed and distance from the sun just by changing a few clocks, but they can’t. Oh, and maybe you should do some ‘serious studying’ of your third grade science text-book before you write smug, self-indulgent letters to the newspaper. Congratualtions on showing yourself up as a complete dumbass, dumbass!

Oh, and this woman is a frigging lawyer!

This would be the point at which Judge Paulius would send the Stupidity Enforcement Squad to her house, and she’d spend the next two years attending grade-school science class and writing “I must not be a smug dumbass” over and over.

Come on! A Lawyer who thinks DST actually effects how much sun hits the planet…and she actually gets to argue cases in court???


OzzyC said...

Ozzy rolls his eyes and sighs in resignation... there's no hope for our society

Kato said...

Time to throw some chlorine in the gene pool.

OzzyC said...

According to this article on Snopes, the letter written by the attorney was satirical.