The Dreaded Cat-flu

Ok, I’m ill. Really, really ill. In fact, I’m so ill that today, for the first time ever, I asked someone to go to the pharmacy for some, and I quote, “crazy-ass, make-you-feel-better shit.”

This is unusual for me because your standard over the counter stuff just never seems to work on me. I can take all the Tylenol I like, but it won’t shift a headache. However, today I was desperate.

The scariest thing, however, is that I think I caught this from the cat.

About a week ago, Spook started sneezing like crazy. His eyes were watering and he’d just lie down next to the heater and stay there. Unfortunately, because one of his favorite places to relax was on my shoulder, on a couple of occasions I caught a kitty-sneeze directly to the face.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t an illness jumping the species gap a seriously bad thing? Doesn’t this make my cute little kitten some kind of Typhoid Mary? In a few days, will the newspapers be filled with stories about the dreaded cat-flu, the one that makes the bird-flu look like a mild case of the sniffles?

Anyway, just in case this kills me, on my headstone I want the following written, right in the center in tiny writing so you have to get right up close to read it:

You’re standing on my balls.