Thursday, May 06, 2010

Let’s hope it was a premonition.

I've heard people say that the only thing more boring that listening to other people's problems is listening to other people's dreams.

I don't give a crap. I'm going to tell you about my dream anyway.

Have you ever had one of those really, really lucid dreams that seem 100% completely and totally real? The ones where you seem to be in complete and total control? I had one of those last night, and it lead to the biggest, must crushing disappointment I've ever felt when I finally woke up and discovered it wasn't real.

I dreamt that Sunny and I had decided to go and visit M5, the building where they film Mythbusters… because in perfect dream logic, we figured we wouldn't be able to visit once we were living in the UK, and it make perfect sense that a busy TV show and special effects business would take time out so two completely random strangers could stop by for a geek-fest. However, in the dream, not only where they willing to do that, when we arrived in San Francisco, the whole cast of the show (along with Wil Wheaton, for some reason) met us at the airport, and on the drive back to the shop, we were all having an absolute whale of a time.

After arriving at M5, Sunny was off chatting with Kari, and I found myself helping Adam and Jamie build this big go-kart thing (which was AWESOME) when Adam asked why I was moving back to England. I started to explain our situation when Jamie piped up:

"It's a shame you have to move back." He said. "We could really use someone like you around the shop."

"Yeah." Said Adam, agreeing.

In my dream, I just about swallowed my tongue. You see, at this point, YOU know it's a dream, *I* Know it's a dream and in the cold light of day, any sane person knows that the content of this dream is about as plausible as my scrotum being signed as the new face of Revlon…but bear in mind, while this dream was actually happening, it was completely and totally real. It was as real to me as reading this blog is to you now. There was no reason to doubt it, because as far as my brain was concerned, it absolutely was happening.

So I want all my fellow geeks out there imagine how you'd feel if 'The Hyneman' himself personally asked you to move to San Francisco and work on Mythbusters.

After trying not to scream, and only partly succeeding, I quickly pointed out that I didn't really HAVE to move back to England, and the main reason we were moving is because I couldn't find work.

Adam outlined the deal for me. I'd move to San Fran at the Discovery Channel's expense. I'd become a cast member on Mythbusters as well as working directly for Jamie for his special effects business. I didn't ask what the pay was (like I actually cared with an offer to work on Mythbusters), but Jamie told me it 'only' paid about $90,000 a year.

I went to find Sunny, found her in a break room still talking to Kari and Grant…told her we'd be staying…and that was the exact point that, in real life, Lucy (our cat) decided I'd had enough sleep and yowled down my ear.

My eyes flashed open. The feeling of pure elation slowly drained away as I realized none of what I thought had happened had actually happened.

I have never been so fucking disappointed in my entire fucking life.

2 comments:

MC Etcher said...

Wow.

I wish I could have dreams like that. I dream about performing repetitive tasks at work.

Scratch the hostile fay said...

"any sane person knows that the content of this dream is about as plausible as my scrotum being signed as the new face of Revlon..."

It's happened already.
No, wait, that's *Ellen* doing Maybeline.
(just kidding)

PRICELESS!

Seriously though, I have dreams where I'm back in Junior High and I *can't get my locker open*. Probably because I DID have problems in junior high with my locker.

The question is: are the good stuff and good dreams happening now as a way for Karma to tell you you're doing the right thing moving? Or is Karma trying to say "NO!! DON'T MOVE!! I have good stuff right here!!"

Something to ponder.

Scratch