Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Time Travel Sucks.

So, last night I dreamt that I woke up and I was back in England in the 1970's.

Of course, this being a dream, I just accepted the fact I'd travelled back in time 40 years like it was completely normal.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that I was in a position to be the richest, most powerful man in the world. I could invent the DVD player, HD-TV's, Games consoles, Hybrid cars…everything. I had every major invention of the next forty years.

Then, just as suddenly, it occurred to me that I have no idea how to actually make a DVD player, HD-TV, Games Console or Hybrid Car. I mean, I could explain how a DVD player worked…but not exactly how we'd make a practical product when the amount of processing power (and not to mention the laser) necessary to make a DVD player would take up half a room with 1970's tech.

Never mind! I thought…the knowledge I did have was going to make me a very rich man. All I had to do is buy a ton of Microsoft, Nintendo and Apple stock…and I'm set for life!

Then I realized the problem with that. My bank account didn't exist. My cash card was worthless, and the few bucks in my wallet were not only American currency, but currency that wouldn't be legal tender for at least 35 years.

Never mind, I can still just go get a job and earn some cash to invest. There's no rush. Even if I miss Microsoft blowing up, I could wait until the 90's, buy a TON of Nintendo stock for next to nothing right after the Gamecube fails, and once the Wii gets released I'll be set.

Then I realized the second problem. I'm not due to be born for another eleven years. My ID isn't valid, I don't have a social security number or exist in the system in any way. How do I get a job with no address or identity?

So, anyway…time travel. I thought it would be my gateway to easy riches. Instead it made me into a hobo.

1 comment:

Sunny said...

Too bad you didn't have one of those nifty ID badge thingies like Dr. Who has!!