Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Someone Showed me a Printing Press Once…So I Burned Him as a Witch.

Living in the USA can be really weird, mainly because of the way the average American sees England.

You people watch way too much Robin Hood or The Tudors.

I've been asked if we have concrete buildings or if it's 'all thatched cottages', if we have supermarkets, computers, planes…basically name any post 18th century technology and I'll show you an American who's surprised we have that in England.

Today's example beat all, however. I went for my walk and on the way back I was ambushed by my mother-in-law who wanted me to play cards with her.

We finished playing and she asked, and I quote: "Can you get cards in England? If you can't you should take a pack home and teach your parents to play."

Now, I love my mother-in-law. Like all mothers-in-law, she's batshit crazy at times…and it was only how much I love that crazy lady that stopped me from cranking my sarcasm dial all the way to eleven.

What I actually said was "Yeah, we can get playing cards in England"…but what I really, really wanted to say was : "Playing cards? No, we can't get them in England, we don't have the printing technology. We usually just pass the time by banging a couple of rocks together."


rayray said...

I always thought 'you Brits' were more like that which was shown on Monty Python........;)

Scratch the hostile fay said...

Rayray was thinking the same thing I was.

".......Well, she turned me into a *newt*!"

".... a newt?"

"......I got better...."

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Rusty said...

Howling with glee!

Woman atop her Soapbox said...

My favorite from my family is "Do they celebrate Thanksgiving in England?" No mom, that is an American holiday. "but what about Christmas?" No mom, we're a bunch of atheist heathens.

Gotta love our families.


Paulius said...

My favorite was when one of my in-laws friends couldn't get his head around the fact we didn't celebrate Independence Day.

Yeah, we all get together and celebrate the fact that we didn't want America anyway.

aimese said...

Well you live in the South. What do you expect?