Saturday, June 05, 2010

Public Service Announcement

Ok people, I'm sorry but it needs to be said. If you:

  1. 'Wear' your cellphone on a belt clip, or:
  2. Walk around with a Bluetooth headset in your ear in public

You look like a massive, massive tool.

You see, back in the 90's cell phones were the size and weight of bricks. You couldn't comfortably carry one in a pocket, so a belt clip was a necessity. Today, phones are tiny, light and have lockable keypads (or clamshell designs) so you can't accidentally call someone if you mash the keypad while it's in your pocket.

There is only one reason to carry a phone on a belt clip, and that's because you want to show the world that you own a cell phone.

The problem with that is that, back in the 90's, cell phones were really expensive so owning one was a status symbol. Today? I can go to the dollar general and get a cell phone for fifteen bucks. Freaking hobos own cell phones today. They're not a status symbol. Showing off that you own a cell phone is like showing off that you're wearing socks.

As for the Bluetooth headset…walk around with one of those and you're a whole new level of smacktard.

Ok, if you're behind the wheel and expecting a call, fair enough…but just wearing one as a matter of course?

You're doing one of two things. You're either trying to show off the fact that you have a Bluetooth headset (which again, isn't all that impressive when they come free with forty dollar phones)…or you're trying to say to the world that you're so busy, so important, that you physically don't have the time to take a phone out of your pocket when it rings.


Hey everyone, I'm so important I'm not even willing to hold a phone to my ear during a conversation!

Even worse is the people who will get a call, then take the phone out of their pocket, unclip the headset from the back of the phone, turn it on, disck around for thirty seconds adjusting it…then they press the answer button on the phone. They spend longer dicking with the headset than they actually spend talking when they finally get around to answering. Some labor saving device, huh?

Long story short, Unless you're working in a call center, driving or physically doing something with your hands that prevents you from holding the phone to your ear, leave the Bluetooth alone.

Oh, and your phone is the size of a fucking credit card, you don't need a special pouch attached to your belt to carry it.

Thank you for your time.

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