"w00t FIRST POST! I ROCK!"

Ok, someone explain something to me.

Why is it that on every popular and established website that allows comments, some douchebag feels it’s an achievement to get in the ‘first post’.

I don’t mean someone sits there and expresses their opinion or viewpoint first, I mean they actually post something like “w00t! First Post!” In fact, they don’t actually bother commenting on what’s just been posted, because while they’re wasting their time expressing an interesting opinion that someone might actually read, some other bastard will swoop in and take the coveted first spot.

In fact, and this is something that makes my already low estimation of the human race sink even lower, there can be five or six different comments that all say “Yay! First post!”

You know what that means? It means that a group of people have sat in front of their monitors, hitting ‘refresh’ over and over again, probably for hours…just so they can have the honor of posting ‘Woot! First Post!” first.

It’s like last minute snipe-bidding on eBay, only you don’t actually get anything.

I mean, what’s the big deal? First of all, your awesome first post is just viewed by everyone else as internet ‘white noise’ to be complete and totally ignored and scrolled past to get to the first ‘real’ comment.

Isn’t ‘first post’ the equivalent of just proclaiming “I have waaaay too much time on my hands and probably the most boring life ever!” It’s like getting out of bed at 4am and going to work on your day off, just so you can brag get the parking space closest to the door.

Well, congrats pal, you’ve just proven you’re better than me at clicking refresh over and over. I just wasted that time talking to my wife or doing something constructive, but I agree, that first post obviously means you’re way ‘radder’ than I am.

Oh, and I know that someone is going to be funny and put a ‘first post!’ in the comments, so allow me to call you on it here and spoil your fun…MC Etcher.