Warning : Marriage Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

Sunny and I often have the same argument over and over. Basically, I blame her for turning me grey, balding and fat...and she denies it. I feel it's time for some documentary evidence:


This is my passport picture from my first passport at the grand old age of 16. If we ignore the comedy sideburns that make me cringe every time I look at a pic of myself from this period, you'll notice the clear skin, head of jet-black hair and an actual jawline. Now let's fast forward a few years:

This is the picture that was on my Visa from 2004 when I was 23. In fact this was the last pre-marriage picture ever taken of me as I was married to Sunny less than four months later. I know his picture isn't exactly amazing quality, but again, notice the full head jet-black hair without a hint of grey, the presence of a jawline.

Note: Sensitive Viewers Should Look Away Now...
HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT!?!?!?! RUN!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!

This is me after a measly five years of marriage. Note the thinning and receding hair, the 80% grey and the simply staggering weight gain. Note the complete absence of a jaw-line that is only masked slightly by the rapidly greying goatee.

Wanna know the worst thing? This picture is actually a good one. It hides a lot of my grey and the head on hides my double chin.

So basically, I'm right and the stress of being married to Sunny is causing me to age prematurely. Most people assume I'm in my late thirties...which I'd take as a compliment if I wasn't 28.

I think I can take comfort in the fact that while my missus is making me old, I at least have the common sense to not attempt to cover the grey with just for men...and when the time finally comes, I will definitely not ever sport a comb-over.