The Many Traditions of Thanksgiving...

1) Should a husband be dumb enough to set foot in the Kitchen during the cooking stage, he will be instantly chased out for 'getting in the way'.

2) Should a husband try to keep out of the way and stay out of the Kitchen, he will later receive a 20 minute lecture on how he should be more helpful and didn't lift a finger.

3) Should a husband actually help out, and do something simple such as mashing some potatoes, he will make sure everyone at the table know he is responsible for that particular dish.

4) Guests will be so impressed at the husband's contribution that they will spend at least 10 minutes talking about how amazing the mashed potatoes are.

5) Should number 4 happen, the wife will silently seethe at the end of the table because no one made half as big a deal over the turkey, dressing, gravy etc that she made.

6) If a wife asks for help (such as "pass me the milk from the fridge") that help received automatically allows the husband to say 'he helped make that'.

7) Wives will spend at least two days cooking. She will make enough food to feed at least 5 times the number of people attending the dinner. She will know this but do it anyway.

8) After putting in two days of effort to make the best tasting and most beautiful looking meal available, everyone will say how their favorite part of thanksgiving dinner is the cold turkey and dressing sandwiches the next day.

9) Someone will always fall asleep shortly after dinner. It is perfectly acceptable to mess with that person while they're asleep.

10) At a family dinner, all the female members who brought something will engage in the ultimate passive-aggressive battle over who's dressing was 'the best'