Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Grown up? Moi?

So Sunny did the second part of her sleep study and the Doc told her that she has sleep apnea. Basically, she stops breathing when she sleeps.

The Doc gave her a machine (I was jealous, it has buttons, lights and beeps). Upon careful inspection, I decided that the thing’s basically a high-tech air-pump. It hooks up to her nose and helps her breathe while she’s asleep. I wanted to play with it in the bath to see if it works like Scuba gear…but Sunny wouldn’t share her toys…selfish.

Anyway, the thing looks a little silly. It has a head strap that holds a plastic thing against her nose, which is attached to the pump with a long plastic tube.

So Sunny puts the thing on, and being a caring, thoughtful husband I tell her:

“You look like a borg who goes to special school.”

Apparently, it’s hard to talk with this thing on. So in response, Sunny just gives me the middle finger.

Then she puts on the chin-strap. This is basically a stretchy bandage that you wrap around your head to hold your mouth closed. (The thing works on the principle of keeping the air pressure outside your lungs higher than inside. It doesn’t work with your mouth open). I look at her again and say:

“Now you look like a borg who goes to a special school… who has a toothache.”

Sunny laughs and tells me to shut up, but because there’s a constant stream of air coming out of her mouth when she opens it, her voice takes on a hissy, snake-like quality.

“Now you sound like Lord Voldemort, who’s been assimilated by the borg, goes to the special school…and has a toothache.”

So, she laughs even more and chooses a few choice words for me. The machine has ‘switched gears’ by now and her voice sounds different. I tell her:

“Actually, I’ve changed my mind. Now you sound like a cheesy 1970’s sci-fi robot.”

About ten minutes later, the lights are off and we’re both falling asleep. Out of nowhere, I hear from the lady in bed next to me:

“Would… you… like… to… play… a… game? How about… a nice… game of… chess?”

Expensive medical apparatus + Extreme Childishness = FUN!

1 comment:

Saffyre said...

What a total gentleman you are Paulius!