Saturday, February 18, 2006

Bad Wookie! Off The Furniture!

A few posts ago, I mentioned how Bosco, the new puppy chewed through the lead for my headset mic. I quote:

“Well, I’d rather have a puppy that destroys a $15 headset than one that craps all over the house.”

I rescind that statement…basically because it isn’t true.

You see, in some ways, Bosco is especially good. Despite the fact he’s been a family member for less than a week, he whines and lets you know when he needs to go to the bathroom, and every time you let him out he ‘does his business’.

What a good dog.

Well, that’s what I thought before I discovered his gargantuan ‘Stash ‘o Poop’ today.

You see, in our Kitchen, where Bosco prefers to sleep, there is a small storage room. It’s off the beaten path and is blocked to human access by my bike. The door is ajar, and there are no lights inside.

Well, today I was looking for something, opened the door, and just inside there was no less than 9 small poopy piles.

Our puppy is both figuratively and literally a ‘closet pooper’.

He’s also developed the annoying habit of doing his “I need to pee-pee” song and dance, and when you return from getting your shoes, he’s sitting proudly next to a puddle. I just wish he didn’t have one of those faces that looks like he’s constantly a half inch from floods of tears…because then I could stay mad at him.

Oh well, no one said that house training was going to be fun or easy.

On a completely different topic, have you seen those ads for the new Gillette razor?

Let’s do a quick history lesson.

At first, there where disposable razors, then someone had the idea to make a high quality razor handle, and sell replacement blades. This was a good idea.

Then Gillette had another great idea. Two blades instead of one, spring mounted to follow the curves of your face, and a moisturizing strip along the top edge. This was also a good idea.

This lead got copied, so Gillette had to come out with something new. So they invented the three bladed razor, with the grip stips to stretch your skin, and an entirely spring mounted head. This was a good idea…but it’s all starting to get a little bit silly. I mean, three blades?

Not to be outdone, Schick get in on the act and decide that they need to create a razor that will blow Gillette out of the water. The problem is that there’s not a lot extra that they can do. So what do they do? Release a razor with FOUR blades. This is starting to go right past silly, and into ridiculous country.

Then Gillette bites back with the ‘powered’ wet-razor. The marketing spiel say that this razor emits ‘micro pulses that make your beard stand up’. Unfortunately it doesn’t. It just makes the whole thing vibrate rather uncomfortably in your hand, and when the razor gets dull, it’s like trying to shave with a chainsaw. This is just plain stupid. Oh, and the button is perfectly placed for you to accidentally turn the damn thing off while shaving.

Then, there’s the latest ‘advance’. Yup, Gillette have released the worlds first FIVE bladed razor. Available in both powered and manual.

I mean, seriously…WTF? Two blades I can see. 3? Maybe…but five? What can five blades do that two can’t?  Other than create four gaps between the blades to get gunked up with beard hair, of course.

What will we be shaving with in five years?

“The New Gillette Overly-macho-name Razor! The only razor with 86 blades for an unmatchable Shave! That is until Schick come out with an 87 bladed one, of course!”

Gimme a fucking break.


OzzyC said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the razor companies are getting a little ridiculous.

Kato said...

I think the next invention with be a spring-loaded Y shaped razor that can shave both sides of your face at the same time. Wicked.