Saturday, July 18, 2009

Why don’t you just STFU?

Since discovering I have diabetes, and taking the necessary lifestyle changes that go with it, I've noticed a resurgence in that particular personality type that really fucking annoys me.

I'm talking about the people who insist that every change you make isn't good enough and is 'The worst thing you can do!'

For example, when I decided to quit smoking I switched from my regular cigarettes to lights and tried to cut back. Cue the assholes:

"What? You're smoking Lights? Those are the WORST things you can smoke!"

"You know you smoke those harder because they don't have the same amount of nicotine and that does you a hundred times more damage, right?"

"Oh, if you smoke those, you just smoke more."

You know what? When I want your opinion I'll ask for it. I just figured that as I was quitting anyway, getting used to less nicotine first might help. Even if I was completely and totally wrong, I'd smoked regular cigarettes for over a decade, I'm sure smoking lights for a month or so before quitting, even if they are 'the worst things you can smoke', isn't going to matter much in the long run.

Well, the same thing has started again, only this time it's with diet and sugar-free products. People seem to be falling over themselves to tell me how bad everything is for me…and for the life of me, I don't remember asking them for their motherfucking opinion.

"Diet soda? that's FULL of Aspertame! That's the WORST THING FOR YOU!"

No. Wrong. You know what the WORST THING for me is? Regular fucking soda. You see, drinking regular soda will cause me to go blind, fall into a coma and die. Diet soda just contains Aspertame, which at worst can be described as a 'little sketchy' and chugging an entire two liter bottle will make my blood sugar rise by about two points instead of the two hundred a single can of regular coke will do.

But you know what really pisses me off? That part that really makes me want to introduce the sole of my shoe to these people's faces? Most of the time this subject comes up when I'm eating or drinking, and there's nothing quite like being told how bad everything is for me and how I'm doing everything wrong by an overweight asshole chomping on fast food while drinking a 128oz regular soda. When I was quitting smoking, you wouldn't believe the number of people who told me I was going about quitting the entirely wrong way with a cigarette hanging out the corner of their mouths

Having 'quit' smoking five or six times in the past doesn't make you an expert on the subject, it just shows you're really, really shit at quitting smoking. I tried to quit smoking once and haven't smoked in almost a year…I guess my way, which was the 'totally wrong way' worked after all.

Here's the deal. I get my information on Diabetes from the American Diabetes Association. I get my information on what I can and can't eat from docor-approved meal plans. They know more than you. I know more than you. Keep your stupid, retarded opinions to yourself. Above all, don't try and lecture me on healthy living when you're eating your fifth Big Mac. Go for a run and eat a green salad before you decide to lecture me on the small diet soda I'm drinking.


rayray said...

ya know, the worst thing you can do for your stress level is blog about the assholes that get you riled up.................hehehehehehe

Terry Chandler said...

Yeah, it's a fact of life...
There are always going to be an abundance of people offering unwanted unrequested advice on anything and everything. If you're following your doctor's advice, just keep on doing it your way!
Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

I so love you... and wish I was sitting at the next table when you finally snap and tell someone what they can do with their opinion!

a reid

MC Etcher said...

Frighteningly, even doctors are often wrong, despite their best efforts.

Best thing to do - use your own personal common sense.

Now if only people would keep their well-meaning advice to themselves...

Paulius said...

Advice I can take. One of my in-laws has he same type of diabetes as me and he gave me a ton of helpful advice.

What I have a problem with are the people who have no clue what they're talking about, claim everything you do is 'the worst possible thing' and take a twisted sort of pleasure in reeling off all the things you can't have or do.

onan the bavarian said...

Congrats on kicking the ciggies. I finally quit smoking about 20 years ago, the best thing I ever did.

rob said...

PS - sorry, wrong blogger ID, I'm rob.

donna said...