It never stops…

One of the things I could always guarantee whenever I talked to my Mum on Skype was that for every hour we spent talking, at least 25 minutes of that would involve her talking at me about smoking.

My Mum is very anti-smoking. Despite the fact she smoked for almost 30 years herself, she now works as one of those 'quit smoking' counselors, and when she first caught me with a cigarette back when I was 15, she didn't sit me down at talk to me about the evils of smoking…she punched me in the face.

Anyway, I thought the weekly lectures were over when I finally quit smoking… but I was wrong. You see, instead of seeing me light a cigarette on the webcam and going into her usual lecture, she just changed tactics to where she'd ask me if I was still not smoking and when I told her I wasn't, she'd go into her usual lecture.

Then, over the past few weeks, the no-smoking lectures finally phased out. I was overjoyed.

Then today, I turn on the webcam and…

"Are you putting on weight?"

"No, my weight hasn't changed since you visited last October."

"Your face looks fatter."

I roll my eyes and take a sip of my coke.

"See? Coke! Full of sugar!" She then goes into a lecture about the dangers of being overweight. I'm pretty sure that it's going to become my new regular lecture from now on.

It's true what they say, if it's not one thing, it's your mother.