Sunday, February 08, 2009


Sunny snores. She snores regularly, consistently and very, very loudly, but after four years of marriage, I thought I'd finally found a solution to the problem.

You see, it's not so much the actual noise that keeps me awake. As anyone who's married to a snorer will tell you, the worst part is when they snore for a while and then stop…because you find yourself lying there awake, just waiting for the next snore. Then, when you've finally convinced yourself that they've finally stopped for the night and you start to drift off, they start snoring again.

Wash, rinse and repeat.

Well, my solution was simple. When I get into bed I take my iPod with me, and listen to a podcast or some soft music while I fall asleep. Because the sound is constant and drowns out Sunny's snoring, I have no problem getting to sleep.

The only problem is that Sunny decided, out of the blue, after me listening to my iPod in bed for well over a month, that the sound from my headphones is keeping her awake. So Sunny takes immediate action. She gets her iPod and listens to that to drown out my iPod.

I thought we'd come up with the perfect solution. We both get to sleep in the same bed without disturbing each other.

Then, last night when I was lying in bed, I was just starting to drift off when I suddenly felt the bed start to move like there was a mini earth-tremor. I pulled out my headphones and opened my eyes, straining to discover the cause of the disturbance. It sounded like Sunny was muttering under her breath and she was moving like she was having a mini-seizure. Obviously startled, I leant over, gently shook her and asked her if she was okay. Her head whipped around and the first words out of her mouth were an annoyed "What did you wake me up for?"

She was asleep again in a matter seconds, so I figured she was just dreaming…but two minutes later she started again. I'm actually starting to get a little worried at this point, so I strained my ears to try to hear what she was muttering…and I couldn't believe my ears.

She was singing along to the music and dancing in her sleep.

I laughed to myself and just thought it was funny…until I took a heel to the shin from one particularly acrobatic dance move, and then realized it's almost impossible to sleep when the person next to you is making the whole bed shake. Of course, when I asked her about it the next day she denied all knowledge and insists I was either dreaming or I'm making the whole thing up.

So Sunny snores, so I wear and iPod to drown her out. She doesn't like my iPod, so listens to her own to drown out mine…out but sings and dances in her sleep.

Long story short, I have the whole snoring thing sorted…anyone know any good cures for sleep dancing?


Sunny said...

Separate bedrooms????

Sorry hun- but your iPod sounds just like a mosquito buzzing and it drives me insane.

I really am beginning to believe that separate bedrooms is the only thing that will get us both good sleep. I hope not- I love sleeping with you.

Kelly said...

Ok Paul, here's my suggestion (as someone who HATES the sound of snoring) Buy some foam earplugs.

Toby snores and it pisses me off to the poiint where I want to throw things at him, BUT when I get into bed, I put in my little foamy earplugs and the whole world goes silent. It's beautiful!

Paulius said...

This may sound a little odd, but earplugs do me no good at all.


Because when I put them in, all I can hear is my own breathing and heartbeat, which keeps me awake just as much as snoring.