Marriage...

So, last night Sunny decides to show me a floor plan for a house she’s designed.

This is kinda a hobby of Sunny’s. We can’t afford to move right now, and I limit her rearranging of the furniture to only a few times per day, so she likes to draw floor plans of her dream homes.

This one was a little different.

“Isn’t that a bit of a waste of space?” I asked. “The Bedroom’s the same size as the main living room. Why not make the bedroom a little smaller to make a bigger living area?”

“Well, there’s an en-suite and a ‘retreat’ in the bedroom as well, though.”

I looked at the floorplan a little more closely.

“I think you messed up here.” I said. “You’ve put in two kitchens.”

“Nah, that one’s just a kitchenette in your study.” She said.

“Why have you put a kitchenette in my study???” I asked. “Sure, a mini-fridge and a coffee maker I can understand…but there’s a freaking stove in there. Do you expect me to just live in that room? It has an en-suite as well!”

“Uh-huh.” She said.

“You realize that what you’ve designed here is basically two separate apartments with a shared master bedroom and living room, right?”

“Oh, have I?” she said…far too innocently.

“Don’t you think a freaking kitchen in my study is going a bit too far?”

“Well, it’ll stop you messing up my kitchen.” She said.

“You mean the way I mess it up by cooking for both of us?”

“What’s the problem? You got your own mini pantry in there as well! You can keep stuff for snacks…making sandwiches. You know, you could keep bread in there.”

At that point, the penny dropped.

“Ok, let me just confirm a little suspicion here.” I said. “You went to the trouble of designing a house, giving me my own kitchen…and this is just because I don’t put the twisty-tie back on the loaf once I’ve opened it, isn’t it?”

“WELL I GO TO PICK UP THE BREAD AND IT FALLS ALL OVER THE FLOOR! IT”S A TWISTY-TIE! IT’S SIMPLE AND EASY TO USE!!!!”

“WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEARN TO BE MORE CAREFFUL WHEN YOU PICK UP THE BREAD! I HATE TWISTY TIES! YOU SPIN THE LOAF AND TUCK THE END OF THE BAG UNDERNEATH! TAKING OFF THE TIE TAKES TOO LONG!”

“AND WHAT ARE YOU IN SUCH A RUSH FOR! TEN SECONDS WOULD SAVE ME FROM DROPPING BREAD ALL OVER THE FLOOR!”

“ACTUALLY USING YOUR EYES WHEN YOU TAKE IT OUT OF THE CUPBOARD WOULD STOP THAT!!!”

Four years of marriage. Ain’t it grand?