Murder's Fashionable

Remember the good old days when school shootings were actually rare, shocking and would be the main topic of conversation for weeks afterwards?

I think it’s a really sad state of affairs that when I heard about the last one, I just thought “Gah, another psycho? Sheesh!” …and those were my first and last thoughts on the matter.

I mean, what the hell happened to school kids getting ‘revenge’ by letting their teacher’s tires down or spreading a nasty rumor about the classmate who ‘wronged’ them?

Like iPods, Cell-phones and Myspace, shooting up campus has become fashionable. Mass murder has become the new malicious ‘prank’.

Not the most popular kid in school? Kill a bunch of people and then shoot yourself. The girl you like wouldn’t go out with you? Shoot her, her friends a bunch of random strangers and then off yourself. Failing a class? Shoot your teacher, your classmates and then shoot yourself.

Just don’t feel all that good today? Head to the mall with a shotgun.

Here’s an idea, idiots, next time just shoot yourself instead. At the very least, go on a rampage and then don’t shoot yourself…you know, so afterwards you’ll have to look the family and friends of your victims in the eye and explain exactly why you thought failing a test and not getting a date was a good enough reason for a bunch of people to die.

That’s why these people always shoot themselves afterwards. They’ve set themselves up in their own heads as these tragically misunderstood figures who were ‘pushed too far’. They’re the tragic hero in their own story. However, deep down they know that their twisted self-image will be about as believable as a Nazi daycare center when they have to look a teenage girl’s mother in the eye and say “Well, you see, I asked her out and she said no, and Mr. Jenkins said I was failing English 101 and none of the popular kids liked me…so I shot your daughter in the face. Can’t you see I’m tragically misunderstood?”

Well, I think I’ve found a solution.

Set up a match-making website for these idiots. Then, when these people think that normal teenage stress and ‘angst’ is a good reason for a killing spree, a bunch of them can get together in a warehouse somewhere and all shoot each other.

It’s win-win. They get to go down in a blaze of glory, our schools, malls and college campuses become a lot safer and the only casualties in the situation are shotgun toting morons.

Then again, I’m sure these people wouldn’t be too happy being put in a situation where they can’t pretend they’re the only person ever in the history of the world to face a bit of stress…and where’s the fun in shooting someone who can shoot back?

Then again, it might hold a mirror up to these people:

“What? You’re here because you got laughed at when you asked that girl to the prom? That’s nuts! Get over it, loser! I mean, I’m here because I couldn’t get a date as well, but it’s different for me because I’ve loved this girl for years and she tore out my heart etc, etc.”

Get over yourselves.