Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Who the Candidates SHOULD Be...

Elections are possibly one of the most annoying things in the universe. Thanks to the candidates' usual backstabbing and mud slinging, deciding who to vote for has come down to voting for who you hate the least, rather than who you like the best.

Every election I’ve ever taken part in has felt like being forced to make the choice between getting my nutsack set on fire or having a couple of limbs lopped off.

So this started me thinking. If I could vote for anyone, even fictional characters, who would I like to see in the Whitehouse or in Number 10 Downing Street?

5) Lion-o

Not only does this guy have Leadership experience, an enchanted sword and serious ass-kicking abilities…He managed to build a fifty-story panther-shaped fortress in a single episode! Not only that, he made it out of scrap…and the only help he needed was from a bunch of robotic teddy-bears! Now that’s resource management.

Can any of the current presidential candidates make a rock-solid fortress out of scrap metal on a zero-dollar budget, using furby laborers? I don’t think so!

4) Dr. Samuel Beckett

The guy travels through time helping people and 'putting right what once went wrong'. Need I say more?

Imagine it, a President who knows the future and every time something starts to go wrong, a five minute conversation with Al would let him know exactly what to do to put it everything right again.

Remember that nuclear war that started last year? The one that wiped out all life on the planet? No?

That’s because Sam Beckett stopped it from happening!

3) Optimus Prime

Do I even need to explain this one? The leader of the Autobots?

Who in the world would be dumb enough to fuck with a country led by a giant robot who can hide in plain sight?

Plus, with the other Autobots as Generals etc, every country in the world would be dismantling their nukes in case they transformed and gave them a face full of laser.

2) Major Samantha Carter

It’s hard to come up with reasons for not voting for Sam. Not only has she actually saved the world more times that I can count, she’s a genuine genius. She doesn’t have to milk a two day ‘tour of duty’ in Vietnam like other candidates, simply because she could tell a different war story every time she appeared on TV and would have finished her second term in office before she ran out.

She knows when to use force, knows when to use diplomacy…and after negotiating with the Goa’uld, the Middle East probably won’t be a problem. Plus, you have to respect someone who can repair a Naquadah generator with nothing but a flashlight and a screwdriver…there’s be no more of this ‘series of tubes’ business.

1) Dr. Cox

This guy is my own personal hero. You’d never have to worry about him lying or getting caught in scandals because he’d be one of the few presidents who’d be like. “Yeah, I smoked pot in college, what’s that got to do with me being president now, Sally?”

As a Doctor, he’s used to making life and death decisions and certainly wouldn’t be afraid of shaking things up a little to get the job done.

Plus, we’d get Jordan as First Lady, so it’s a double-whammy there.

So there you go. Dr. Cox for President!


Saffyre said...

Now you see, I would HAVE to go with Lion-O because he's just too super cool...and I think Snarf belongs in government! lol

Sunny said...

I have no idea who Lion-O is....but Dr.Cox for Pres? I'd vote for him for SURE........


MC Etcher said...

Ha ha ha!! Having Dr. Cox as the last one was the perfect punchline - well done!

delmer said...

I can't do anything about getting her elected president, but I do have a server at work named "Carter" after Sam.