Tuesday, December 11, 2007


A few posts ago I wrote about the downright awful experience I had in the local K-Mart.

In fact, I was so pissed about it (being kept waiting for over an hour for assistance when there were only 4 other customers in the store will do that to you), I went ahead and fired off an email to their customer service dept and explained in detail what had happened, how disgusted I was, and how I'd never set foot in their store again.

Today I got this back:

Dear Sir,

Thank you for contacting Sears Holdings Corporation. We apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced.

We would like to assist you with your concerns, but your email did not include your phone number. Please provide us with additional details regarding your request so that we can further assist you. For best assistance, please reply to this email with the information.

We appreciate your business, and value you as a customer. We certainly hope you will continue to make Sears Holdings Corporation your choice for quality and value.

In other words:

Dear Asshole,

We couldn't be bothered actually reading your email once we realised it was a complaint. So, we'll ask you to send us your phone-number, so one of our out-sourced, underpaid, Indian wage-slaves can catch all your shit.

In closing, despite the fact your email showed that quality and value are the exact thing you don't receive at K-Mart (in that you got your purchase from Walmart for $10 cheaper), and that as we kept you waiting for over an hour we don't value you as a customer, we can't resist sucking ourselves off again.

Bite me!

K-Mart Auto-reply Bot #5102348

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