Saturday, September 19, 2009

We get it…you like weed.

You wanna know what the least impressive thing in the world is?

Smoking weed.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there's anything morally wrong with it and I don't look down on people who smoke it…but the thing I find really pathetic are the people who smoke weed and it's all they talk about. It doesn't matter who you are, how you know them…if you're in the same room, they're going to tell you how much they smoke and how totally high they got last night.

Is smoking weed even that big of a taboo anymore? I'd say that to most of society smoking weed is on a par with drinking heavily, and about as rebellious and interesting as someone on a diet telling you about the big bar of chocolate they ate last night. One of my old school teachers smoked weed. Hell, even a 65 year old, straight-laced grandma-of-four I used to work with smoked weed.

I don't mean this in an ani-drug, you're an idiot for smoking kind of way…but smoking weed just isn't all that cool. When you start talking about how high you are, you don't sound cool and rebellious…you just sound like a dick.

For example, earlier tonight I was playing some CoD over Xbox live, and because we were a man short on the team, we'd end up with a random stranger each new round.

Enter 'Tokin'6543':

"Hey guys, just lettin' you know, I'm rollin' a blunt so I might not play too good."

Translation : "Hey everyone, I smoke weed! Look how cool and rebellious I am."

Two minutes later:

"Hey guys, I just fired up my blunt, so if I suck this round it's because I'm playing one handed. I'm getting so baked!"

Translation: "Hey, didn't you hear me before? I said I'm smoking weed! Don't you realize how cool this makes me?"

Another two minutes pass:

"Oh, dudes! I'm getting so high right now off this blunt. This shit's amazing."

Translation: "Hello??? I'm smoking weed here. Why is no-one paying attention to me? WeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeed!!!"

We completely ignored him (one of the things I love about MGC, they have very little tolerance for douchebags and assholes), and having been refused a reaction, I shit you not, he started coughing…really loud and fake coughing.

"COFF COFF…Wow, this shit's strong! COFF COFF."


Seriously, kids…I'm not going to tell you not to smoke weed because I know telling a teen not to do something is the one way to actually guarantee that they'll do it…just bear in mind that smoking weed in 2009 and going on and on about it makes you about as cool as the guy who tells everyone he knows about the time he drank the half a wine cooler his mom forgot about.

It's 2009 kids. Tattoos are a fashion accessory, accountants ride Harleys, your English teacher has her nipple pierced…and smoking weed is as cool and rebellious and having a five year old playboy stashed under your mattress.

So, the next time you feel the urge to tell someone about that time you got so completely high, just bear in mind that what you're really telling the world is: "I am a massive dick with no charisma or personality and I'm desperate for attention."

1 comment:

Sunny said...

And they are MASSIVELY annoying.