Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Fresh Batch of Crazy

Blogging can be pretty damn weird.

Back in 2006 I wrote a post that just seems to be a crazy-person magnet.

The post was intended to be extremely light hearted and, dare I say it, humorous. It was basically a list of inventions that those 70’s and 80’s Sci-Fi shows said we should have by now. The actual title of the post was “Where’s my flying car, dammit?!”

It was a post where I chastised ‘lazy scientists’ for inventing things like mobile phones and the internet, but ignoring inter-stellar starships, flying cars and teleporters.

Well, minutes after that post was published, Crazy guy no.1 kicked things off with a 2000 word comment about how he’d invented a ‘liquid electricity engine’, but couldn’t get funding to build one because of government conspiracies and ‘idiot scientists’. I won’t rehash the comment, but suffice it to say that his ‘theories’ had holes in them that you could drive a bus through. I particularly enjoyed the part where he said his engine’s main output was a ‘stationary, dirty-pink light cloud’…that was somehow also going to revolutionize the ‘special effects industry with filmable synthetic actors’…what, like in ‘Shrek, you mean?’

It didn’t take very long to realize that this guy was 100 different types of crazy. Most of what he said was obviously false, such as his statement that a well known nuclear physicist ‘accused’ him of ‘talking in the fourth dimension’. That sounds bafflingly scientific and impressive…to people who don’t know that the ‘fourth dimension’ is time, meaning the whole ‘talking in the fourth dimension’ thing makes no sense.

Oh, and there where other subtle hints that this guy wasn’t playing with a full deck, such as his assertions that ‘the Government’ had destroyed four of his computers by trying to hack into them and steal his data…and that remote viewers were trying to steal the information from his mind while he slept.

Anyway, I wrote a new post for this guy, pointing out the absolutely glaringly false statements he came out with, and made a comment that said pretty much what I said above. He told me to ‘get real’…and I said that being told to ‘get real’ by someone who believes psychics are trying to steal information from his mind while he slept was pretty much like being told to quit drinking for my health by someone smoking crack.

Well, two years later, crazy guy is back. I’m not sure if it’s the same guy, but the writing style is the same, and he linked to one of the original guy’s pages, so there’s a good chance it is. If so, this guy must sit at his computer all day, looking for any references to himself or his bullshit ideas just so he can flame people.

Here’s his comment:

“Check it out puppy... Surf Remote Viewing lessons.. and go into their web sites, posting short insulting letters about how you believe their remote viewing is just all ape class bullshit...

Then the next few nights watch your dreams, and record those extremely invasive pressures around your head.. and tell us about the faces you saw and see every time you close your eyes...

I ain't about to teach you how to deflect and even permanently damage attacking RV'ers.. That's something you must learn on your own... Check it out... You've got a lot to learn.. and you haven't even begun.. and probably won't...”

First of all, Puppy??? Is that meant to be offensive? Maybe the guy actual believes I’m a dog…which wouldn’t surprise me.

If he does, I have only one thing to say: Grrrrrr, woof! Bark! Grrrrr!

Then we come to my ‘punishment’. He ‘ain’t going to teach me’ how to deflect or ‘permanently damage’ remote viewers.

Well, shit on a shingle, that’s bad news. I could really use some information on how to deflect an attack that doesn’t exist. Just for that, I’m not going to teach him my special technique for fighting of Sock-Eating Goblins…Hah! He’ll regret that the next time he opens the drier and finds one of his favorite socks missing its twin! I won’t even teach him how to battle the TV Remote gnome…the little bastard who sneaks into your house at night and hides the remote down the back of the sofa!

That’ll teach him.

However, I do ask myself one question. If remote viewing is real, and people really can send and take information from each other’s heads at will…why do they bother with websites?

I mean, if I could project images into other people’s heads…which apparently they can, considering I’m supposed to be ‘seeing faces’ every time I close my eyes, I wouldn’t bother with email. I’d just use my remote viewing powers to chat with like minded people…and I wouldn’t even have to pay an ISP for the privilege.

The saddest thing is that this guy, and people like him, actually pity us for having ‘limited horizons’. Apparently, we don’t ‘get it’. Unfortunately, the thing these people never understand is that we do ‘get it’. We ‘get it’ so much that we actually understand that their bullshit ideas just won’t work.

They love to point out that most of the major inventions and scientific breakthroughs over the past few centuries were laughed at. They forget that the people who were laughed at back then actually proved their theories. They put their money where their mouths were. When scientists of the day told the Wright Brothers that heavier-than-air flight was impossible, the brothers built a plane and flew it in front of witnesses at Kitty Hawk. They didn’t sit around and complain how secret conspiracies were holding them back…but the people who built those weird flappy-armed, feather covered contraptions did.

Ok, this is for my crazy commenter. I’m trying to do you a favor here, I just hope you can see logic for once:

You’re talking about an invention that would offer pretty much free energy on a massive scale, give us flying cars, interstellar space flight and all other kind of wonders. Have you any idea what an invention of that magnitude would actually be worth?

There’s no ambiguity in your claim. For example, it was very difficult in the pre-computer world to explain to people what use a microchip would be. If the stories are true, one of the VP’s at IBM looked at the first microchip and said “But what is it good for?” In other words, it was a revolutionary technology that was very difficult to sell because you needed a lot of specialist knowledge and foresight to see how useful it would be. The average person in 60’s didn’t want a computer in their home because they couldn’t see how they’d ever need or want one.

Your ‘invention’ doesn’t require any specialist knowledge to understand its use. Imagine telling a car company that they could offer the public a car that never needed to be refueled. Imagine telling the power companies they could continue selling electricity that would cost them almost nothing to produce. Imagine telling the people at NASA you have an engine that could put someone on Mars in less than an hour almost for free...and yes, telling the military they could build submarines that could stay submerged indefinitely or create directed energy weapons that never ran out of ammo.

Sure, you can talk about the oil companies and other industries it would make obsolete fighting it, but when the lobbyists went to Congress, they wouldn’t stand a chance. “This new technology will put us out of business!” “So? The other guy is offering us a technology that will make us the dominant nation of the planet forever!”

An invention like yours would literally be like fire, the wheel, the internal combustion engine and powered flight all rolled into one.

Put simply, if their was any merit to your idea, if there was any chance of it actually working people would be falling over themselves to throw money at you. You can talk of people trying to steal your idea…but my point is that this technology would be such a cash cow that they could pay you a hundred billion dollars for it, and they’d still be ‘screwing’ you.

In essence, it would be like me walking into IBM in the early 70’s, showing them a 2gb memory stick and saying “How much will you pay me if I give you everything you need to manufacture these for a hundred bucks a pop?” They’d pay anything. In 1977 an 80mb hard disk cost around $12,000 and was the size of a filing cabinet. What would they pay to be the first company to offer 2 gigs of storage space on a device that fits in your pocket? Anything, that’s what!

The reason there’s no interest in your idea is because it doesn’t work. You talk of ‘the Government’ trying to steal your idea…but my point is, they wouldn’t have to. You say you just want the funding to make one to prove the principle. Considering in one of your comments you said you built a prototype at home, it’s obviously not going to cost a hugely significant amount of money, so what’s the problem?

If the Government wanted your idea so badly, they wouldn’t be hacking into your computer or using ‘remote viewers’ to steal your thoughts as you slept, you’d be writing about how the government keeps trying to buy your idea from you. Whatever your price, the sheer magnitude of what this technology would represent would be like putting the Mona Lisa up for sale for a dollar fifty.

Long story short, you’re getting no interest in your invention because it won’t work. You can dream up all the paranoid fantasies you want to explain your lack of success, but it doesn’t change the fact you’re trying to sell a daydream.

Anyway, just to go back to where this post started, to any remote viewers out there reading this…bring it on. Sit in your parent’s basements, have long involved daydreams about how you’re giving me headaches and making my life miserable, then go online and talk about how effective your ‘psychic attacks’ were.

In the mean time, I’ll go on living in the real world. The one without people stealing information directly from my head, government conspiracies holding back my inventions that won’t possibly work and people apparently pitying me for not having the foresight to send large amounts of time practicing ‘skills’ that are pure fantasy.

I will, of course, continue my ongoing battle with the Sock Eating Goblins. The little bastards have nicked one of my best socks this week already.


OzzyC said...

The remote viewing worked... he simply hit me instead of you.

Julie said...

Are we quite sure that he wasn't or isn't smoking crack???? People will steal it from him too!! He see's dead people.HA!HA! Ask him if he know's anything about the sixth sense???