Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Will Someone Get This Walking Carpet Out Of My Way?

So I was watching an advertisement for the release of the Original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD.

You’ve got to hand it to George Lucas, the only guy in Hollywood that’s made millions just by selling the same movie over and over.

Anyway, I was watching the advertisement and it got right to the end where the little girl says:

“I so want a pet Wookiee!”

I was outraged. Outraged, I tell you!

What? A pet Wookiee?

We’re talking about Wookiees here, the noble, tree dwelling species of the planet Kashyyyk. A species capable of piloting star-ships. A species with a very complex and intricate, caste-based social structure. A species’ whose darkest moment was their capture and enslavement by the Evil Galactic Empire, and use as cheap disposable contruction workers for the first Death Star.

Of course, they look hairy, and can’t speak English, so this little bitch wants one as a pet?

Isn’t this the embodiment of racism and discrimination? Doesn’t all evil spring from the act of one group judging another to be inferior? She’s talking about a free and sentient species, but wants one as a pet! Isn’t that, in a way, what the Nazi’s did to the Jewish people?

Chewie was critical to helping the Rebels defeat the Empire, he was indispensable….and this little bitch wants to keep him as a pet?

What the hell has she achieved in her life? I bet she didn’t help Han Solo make the Kessel Run in less than twelve Parsecs!

I was outraged!

…but then I realized it was just a movie, forgot about it and went back to watching Everybody Loves Raymond.

3 comments:

MC Etcher said...

I thought I was the only one annoyed by that "pet Wookiee" line.

Anonymous said...

(Kato said...)

C'mon admit it, you BOTH want a pet Wookiee.

Actually, in the original release of the commercial, the girl said, "I want a Wookiee who is live-debted to me" but in the re-release of the commercial, Lucas felt he needed to make it more "relevent" to a modern audience.

Anonymous said...

(Kato said...)

By the way, you get -100 geek points for even jokingly suggesting watching "Everybody Loves Raymond".