Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Naked Women on the Internet? No!

So Sunny had left for work, and I was bored.

Looking through my drawer, I found my old sketch pad, and  decided that I hadn’t drawn anything for a while, so I decided to have a bit of practice.

(I’m terrible at drawing, so I like to practice.)

They say the hardest thing in the world to draw is the human form. Because we see people every day, if something is just slightly off, the whole drawing looks terrible.

So I visited a couple of websites that all said the same thing: “Draw from life, or copy pictures from magazines etc. Even if all you’re interested in is cartooning, you have to know the rules before you can break the rules.”

Can you tell where this is going yet?

Well, all I found on the drawing tutorial websites was just that, tutorials. Nothing to actually attempt to copy.

I did an internet search. I typed in ‘models’.

Apparently, there are millions of women out there, who apparently know me personally, and have extended me the gracious invitation to look at pictures of them having sex.

Not exactly what I was looking for. Porn sites aren’t known for their every-day ‘poses’. Yep, I could learn to draw people easily, but only bending over, or with their ankles behind their heads.

So, trying to think ahead, I tried “fashion models”

Guess what? Runway models are getting bored and moving into porn!

I tried “Clothed models”

Guess what? Models are just dying to be unclothed so they can have sex!

“Life drawing models”

One girl waited her whole life to become a model, then decided doing it with four men at once was the way to go!

Eventually, I typed ‘Non-nude models’.

Now, this led to a whole buffet of women who, despite being a little ‘shy’, love to think of all the men lusting after them. Oh, an apparently three postage stamps and a piece of dental floss counts as clothes.

Now, those pictures might have worked. There where actually one or two pictures where the girl wasn’t bent over, or thrusting certain pieces of her anatomy at the screen. However, imagine me trying to explain the bookmarks to Sunny when she found them in the ‘ole favorites bar. ‘Kinky Teen Wants Your Cock!’.

“But dear, they’re for me to practice drawing!”

(Sound of heavy object making contact with my skull)

“Ouch.”

I almost considered typing “Male model”, but to be frank, I was far too scared.

2 comments:

Kato said...

There are male models?

delmer said...

A while back I noticed that a fair number of people came to my site by searching "granny gallery" ... which, in the case of my blog, is a link to paintings my mother (we call her granny) has done.

I was curious about where my site came up in the Google hit list and Googled the term myself.

I found a lot of porn sites featuring mature women. I don't know that I ever found the link to my site.