ARRRGH

ARRRGH!

WHY!?!? I mean, just WHY!?!?

If there’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand, it’s being dicked around!

Remember the ‘Account Manager’ job I wrote about in my last post? I gave them a call back.

I’ll be completely honest, the only reason I even applied for that job was because the advertisement headline was “I believe you stole my stapler?”

I was intrigued, and considering I’m qualified for any kind of admin job, I thought I’d give them a try.

So I called, and told them they’d contacted me to set up an interview. The guy seemed very nice, told me where to go, what the dress code was, and that if I got lost on the way, to not hesitate to call him and he’d “guide me in”.

Great. “Was there anything else?” He asked me.

“Well, your advertisement was a little cryptic.” I said. “Before I actually come for the interview, can you tell me a little about your company, and what the position of Account Manager actually involves?”

I got a few minutes of management-speak about how they’re a ‘top level service provider’ and that the Account Manager position involves ‘working together as a team’, ‘solving problems dynamically’ etc.

Now, what I wanted to say was: “Umm, that’s great, but can you actually make another statement, this time one with actual information in it, and not a load of high-sounding, but ultimately meaningless bollocks?”

He got a little evasive, as said that knowing that wasn’t really his job, and it would all be covered in the interview.

I wasn’t impressed. If you work at a company, you have at the very least, a basic knowledge of what everyone’s jobs entail, especially if you’re working ‘dynamically and synergistically’ in a team.

I did a little research (God Bless Google, and all who sail in her).

What I found was the ultra crappy company website, as well as a few other postings for the same job, obviously the ones that failed to get any interest, before they settled on the ‘Office Space’ quotes.

Now, I’ve heard of jobs that have impressive sounding titles, for example, you’re not a garbage man, you’re a ‘Household Waste Handling and Removal Specialist’, you’re not an Admin, you’re a ‘Data Input/Processing Executive’.

I think this company took it a little too far. In this company, you’re not a door to door salesman, you’re an ‘Account Manager’.

I mean, seriously, WTF?

Very few people want to sell shit door to door, so what do they think? That if they get you in for an interview, you’ll suddenly change your mind? Look, if you want me to work for you, tell me what it is you want me to actually do. Don’t lie to me, and hope it’ll be years before I notice that the prestigious office job you originally offered me actually involves selling shit to people door to door.

The absolute worst thing with this is that I don’t actually have a valid SC drivers license. It’s not a case of me being choosy, I simply can’t do the job. A traveling salesman who can’t travel is at a bit of a disadvantage.

Oh, and that’s the other thing. This company isn’t not offering me a salary, and making me work for commission only, they’re offering me “Amazing Performance Based Compensation”.

It makes me mad as hell. If I hadn’t taken it upon myself to check this place out, and gone on their word, I would have wasted a whole day, the gas to get all the way to Greenville, just to sit in an office while they try to sell me a job that not only do I not want, but can’t actually do.

Look, I need a job. I need to get working as soon as possible. Being dicked around and flat out lied to just wastes time I don’t have.

I feel like pooping in an envelope and sending it to them.