Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Numa Numa Dance. The Greatest Entertainer Who Ever Lived

Ever wonder what the great stories of our time will be when we’re all dead and gone?

Once upon a time there was a complete tool. One day, for no particular reason, he decided to video himself lip-syncing to a song. The tool was fat and funny looking. The tool then decided it would be a really good idea to post his video on the internet.

The general populace saw this and decided it was a good thing. The video of Fatty Tool spread across the internet where it was found by people from all walks of life, and for days afterwards, they found themselves singing “Maya- HEEEE! Maya-HOOO, Maya HEEEE!, Maya HA HA!” under their breath, no matter how hard they tried not to.

Then, hungry for a slice of Fatty-tool’s fame, millions of other people flooded the internet with videos of themselves also lip-syncing to obscure songs. They didn’t realize that while one lip-syncing tool is a novelty, (and mildly amusing for about three seconds), that just another tool doing exactly the same thing was about as interesting as watching paint dry, (In fact a little bit less).

So the internet became flooded with literally thousands of ‘new’ numa numa dance videos. They took their place alongside the other tool sub-species, such as the ‘Setting Myself on Fire’ tools, the ‘Taser-Licking’ tools, the ‘Jackass plagiarizing’ tools and all the other tools that for some reason assume that what the world wants to see is them, acting like tools, or hurting themselves in new and ‘interesting’ ways.

Then the internet exploded out of embarrassment for housing so much crap, and originality and actual entertainment died.

There are morals to this story:

  1. If you must put a video on the internet, actually try to do something new. Don’t just copy whatever’s popular.

  2. People are laughing at you, and not with you, there is a difference.

  3. A ‘funny’ video of you lip-syncing to an obscure pop song might be funny to you and your friends, he rest of the world just thinks you’re a tool with too much time on his hands.

  4. When you decide to pour a half pint of gasoline down your shirt and put a match to it, don’t act surprised when it actually catches fire. You see, Fire is hot.

Let me explain it this way. If you went to a concert to see your favourite band if, after the show, some random guy got up out of the audience, picked up a guitar and re-enacted the concert (with half the skill and talent)…would you stay to watch?


MC Etcher said...

I guess I'm easily amused - I still find these funny.

rayray said...

uh.....huh huh huh...........you said "tool"........