Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Behold My Dubious Talents!

Can YOU beat me?

During another late night surfing session I stumbled upon this little gem. The game is called 'Finger Frenzy', and the purpose is simple. Type the entire alphabet as fast as you can. The clock starts when you hit 'A' and ends when you hit 'Z'.

As you can see, I managed a respectable 4.266 seconds. In your face web designer guy! (The description said that the guy who put it on his site managed 'just over six seconds'...almost two seconds faster, Chump! What? Ya wanna fight about it?)

To be fair, this is actually a lot harder than you think. Despite the fact that I can type roughly 50 words a minute, I found this to be quite hard going. The hard part isn't getting those fingers to move fast enough, it's being mentally able to recite the alphabet that fast!

Before I sound like a complete 'tard, who doesn't know the alphabet, let me explain that:

You see, typing actual words is simple. Say "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" as fast as you can. That sentence contains every single letter in the alphabet, and uses it just once. Typing that out fast is easy. You think of the word, and your fingers go to the correct keys almost on their own.

Now try reciting the alphabet as fast as you can.

Notice which one takes longer?

I found that eventually my fingers where getting ahead of me, then I'd lose my place, get confused, and lose precious seconds while my brain caught up with my hands.

With words, your brain goes on autopilot. You reach for the right letters without even having to think. With individual letters, it's much harder.

Anyway, I hereby issue you a challenge. Beat 4.266 seconds, and I'll send you a brand new 'Air Guitar', I'll also throw in an 'air drum kit' for the second place winner. (We regret to announce that the winner will have to provide their own hairbrush microphone).

Get those fingers flying...oh, and if you want your prize, I need to see proof.

Disclaimer : An 'Air Guitar' and 'Air Drum Kit' are not actually real items. I'm talking about the fictional thing that you 'play' by holding your hands in the classic 'Guitar Hero' fashion, and jump around with while singing off key...usually while drunk. If you have the brains of a half-dead, pickled stoat, and actually expect to receive something for winning, please understand that by emailing and asking for your prize you are instantly giving Mr. Paulius Esq. (The proprietor of this blog), throughout perpetuity and to the end of the universe itself, the right to hold you up as a laughing stock, poke you with sticks, make small children call you Brian (unless that's your real name), allow you to eat only goudar chesse, make you bathe your genitalia in luke-warm hog drippings while singing 'Jerusalem', use you in live games of 'Where's Waldo' at large sporting events, force you to talk and dress like Stewie Griffin, make you paint your toenails like talons and force you to pick up small rodents with your feet while making eagle noises, dress your cat up in frilly outer-garments and throw stones at your uncle (Not limited to large stones, pointy rocks and masonry supplies are also acceptable). Oh, and it also means I own your soul, and that you have to lightly oil yourself, stand on one leg, and lean slightly nor' eastwards while wearing a pointy hat every single Tuesday for the rest of your life...or until I get bored...whatever comes first. Geddit?


John said...

Hi, I was actually looking for Dream Interpretation Dictionary and came accross this post. Glad I stopped by

Paulius said...

Hi John! I decided to check my comments for a complete tool who likes to spam! Glad I stopped by to!

Vicarious Living said...

Damn it Paulius - I thought I had mad skillz (I can't even type that with a straight face) but no.

However, my 10 key is truly God-like.