Rant Time

You know, there are some people that it should be legal to punch in the face repeatedly.

Today, Sunny and I were at the grocery store and just as we were starting to unload our groceries onto the conveyor belt, some random woman leans across from the other side of the little rail thing and says:

“That’s my buggy…” She points to a shopping cart pressed against the side of the checkout counter. “When you’re done loading your groceries, pull it in behind you, because I’m next.”

Then she walked off towards the back of the store. Did I mention that there was a fairly long line behind us already?

Here’s the deal, douchebag, don’t ask a complete stranger to save your place in line, especially when there’s going to be a freaking crowd of people behind me who are going to get pissed at me for letting you ‘cut in line’. Oh, and if you absolutely must…ask me to do it, don’t order me and then walk off without so much as a thank you.

Even better, how about you get your ass in gear, show a bit of consideration and get what you need and get back to the line before I’m finished, so you can catch the heat from all the other people in line.

Here’s another thing. Especially if you’re shopping on your own, the time to go to the checkout is when you have everything you want in your cart. If you get in line and realize that you’ve forgotten something…get the fuck out of the line, get the item you’ve forgotten and then go to the back of the line.

There is a special circle in hell reserved for people who unload half their stuff, then realizing they’ve forgotten something, just stroll away and spend twenty minutes browsing through the rest of the store for a particular brand of fabric softener…leaving a long line of pissed off people waiting for their return.

Pay for your shit, then go back and get the item you forgot. You’ll have to wait in line again…but that’s your fault for not writing a list…not the twenty or so other people in line who get held up for twenty minutes.

There’s one more thing that really chaps me out about the checkout line:

The checkout line is not the time for socializing.

It happened to me twice today.

I went to the local art supply store for a kneaded eraser. My plan was to walk it, grab it and walk out.

So I get in line, and two of the three people in front of me decided to hold a deep conversation. I mean, to the point where they literally forgot where they where. I mean, they put what their purchases on the counter, and chatted for five minutes before pulling out a checkbook…then took another ten minutes to actually write the check because they couldn’t stop gabbing.

I’m not exaggerating, it literally took them nearly fifteen minutes to buy about five items.

Finally they left and I thought I was home free.

Nope, it turned out the woman in front of me was friends with the checkout girl…and then they spent five minutes chatting before they even attempted to pay for anything.

At this point, I’d been waiting for almost half an hour, so I leaned in and said, as politely as possible:

“Excuse me, I’m kinda in a rush, I have groceries defrosting in my car as we speak…can we hurry this up a little, please?”

I got a look like I’d gone into the woman’s house on Christmas morning and pissed all over her kids. I mean, the two of them looked at me like I was being really rude for interrupting their conversation. How dare I have the sheer audacity to want to pay for my purchase in a checkout line?

You know, I’m a nice guy. I have no problem with someone having a chat while they’re working, but if you can’t work and talk at the same time…don’t. Believe it or not, when I go to a store, I want to buy my stuff and leave…not spend twenty minutes listening to you babble on about your friend’s hysterectomy…and I especially don’t like it when I get made out to be the bad guy for asking you to actually do your job.

Here’s the deal. There are other people in the world. Show a bit of fucking consideration.

End Rant.