Monday, April 10, 2006

I'll Stick to Plagarism, Thanks.

I think I’ve said before that I have almost no HTML knowledge whatsoever.

I know how to link, embed images etc, but that’s about the start and end of my HTML expertise.

My usual way of getting around this is by slightly altering HTML code that already exists. For example, you may notice that my posts are slightly wider than the blogger template, basically because I tend to write long posts, and don’t want you all to have to scroll half a mile down the screen.

To do that, I just found the bit of HTML on the template that defines the width, and put in a bigger number.

So, every time I want to do something I don’t know how to do, I find a blogger that has already done it, look at the source code of his page, and try and work out from that how it’s done.

For example, today I noticed on Kato’s blog (Link on the right…that’s the other thing, I’m incredibly lazy and will do everything and anything to avoid writing html), that he knows how to align images to the left and the right of the screen.

Usually, I just host the image on imageshack, and cut and paste the bit of HTML code that it gives you to do a direct link to the image. I have no idea how to align it.

So I made an absolutely huge mistake today.

I actually tried to look at the source code of Kato’s blog.

It was like looking directly at the mid-day sun…through a telescope.

It was like looking at the Matrix.

“My EYES! MY EYES! Arghhh! The Evil Kato Katonian strikes again!”

All I wanted to know was how he aligned his pics. Instead, I think he’s somehow coded the entire human genome and has hidden it in his page.

A while ago, he did a nice long post on how to set up all the whiz-bang things on his page, like the tags etc. I looked at that post. Marvelled at the genius, and how he basically made blogger do things it wasn’t actually intended to do (Think, turning a washing machine into a microwave.)

Anyway, I was proud of the few minor alterations I’d done to this blog. The Gif for the title instead of the boring old text header, adding in my humorous tagline (The one I was planning on changing every week, and have changed twice in the past year), and changing the dimensions of my post-text area.

Now I’ve seen Kato’s, despite the fact he’s even left in comments explaining what each part does…I think I need therapy.

I’ve got to go.

(PS. Maybe little pinch?)


OzzyC said...

I too revel in Kato's superior HTML geekdom. I know that I could do it relatively quickly and easily. I realize that I could understand what his code is doing, if I'd only take the time to look. But like you, I will stick to plagarism. If I can't find the answer through someone else, I don't need it that bad.

Paulius said...

I'm reminded of the old story about Henry Ford. I can't remember the details, but some news reporter called him, to all intents and purposes, a moron.

He answered back with "Prove it."

So they asked him a bunch of questions, and he didn't know the answers to hardly any of them...until he finally erupted:

"Why should I fill my head with all these useless facts, when if I need to know them, I can find a man in 5 minutes who does!"

Henry Ford, this Bud's for you.

MC Etcher said...

Ha ha ha! I've been there, I understand.

Kato said...

My ears are burning.

My template is not, perhaps, the best place to go looking for how to do simple HTML stuff. I have hacked that thing so hard its own mother wouldn't recognize it. It's more machine than man, now.

But, if you ever need simple blog help, you can always send me an e-mail. If you phrase it nicely, I might even write back. Oh, and to position images, you can just put a little CSS in the IMG tag. For instance, to have it sit on the right side with text flowing around it you use style="float: right;".

No pinch. No pinch.