Thursday, December 29, 2005

Sigh, Now I Have to Buy Slippers.

Time is a remarkably inconsistent entity, don’t you think?

When you’re dreading something, it speeds up. When you’re looking forward to something it slows right down. Remember how Christmas Eve lasted about 6 weeks when you where a kid? Remember how the Summer vacation from school took three years to get to, and at the start, it spread before you like an endless parade of sunny afternoons, but before you knew it, you had to go back to school tomorrow.

Apparently, it’s been proven (I don’t know how), that children’s perception of time is different to that of an adult’s. Basically, time seems to move slower for children. To be honest, I have no problem believing it. Christmas used to feel like it came around once ever 3 years, a school week lasted at least three, and that 6 weeks of for summer felt like 6 months.

Maybe I’m alone on this, but did anyone else, when you got to the end of your summer break from school feel like it had gone really quickly, but when you looked back to that first day off, it felt like years ago?

Ppparently we live the first part of our lives in slow time. The middle bit in fast time, and the last bit in slow time again.

Anyway, Paulius, what got you blithering on about this topic?

Well, it’s my Birthday in 25 days, in fact, my 25th Birthday is in 25 days.

I think I’m getting old.

Ok, now before anyone older than me starts laughing at that, let me explain. I don’t mean that pretty soon I’ll be looking for furry slippers and stopping outside Macy’s window thinking “Oooh, that’s a nice cardigan!” I don’t think I’m getting old-old. I’m just getting older. I’m at the point when Birthdays have stopped being just about presents and ice-cream, I’ve actually started to realize that a year has just gone by that I’ll never get back.

Right now, I’m in my mid twenties, I’m in my prime.

However, it’s slowly started to dawn that I’m rapidly approaching the END of my prime.

Let me explain:

This birthday will officially mark the spot where I’m closer to 30 than I am to twenty.

Now this isn’t such a big deal. 30 is still bloody young. But once that measly 5 years has passed, that birthday will be the spot where I’m officially closer to 40 than I am to twenty.

It’s like my version of Kato’s Gladys has fallen asleep, then suddenly woken up and thought: “Where the bloody hell did my Childhood go?!?!”

Of course, this is underlined by the fact that the past couple of years have held some major changes for me. Two years ago, I was living at home with my parents. I didn’t have a house, I had a room. Mum was still in charge of the cooking and grocery shopping.

Now, two years later, not only have I left home, I left my country. So in the space of a year, I left home, got married, became a husband, step-father and step-grandfather…and in 25 days I reach my quarter-century.

It’s weird, every bit of my move here and my marriage to Sunny was meticulously planned for at least 4 years.  However, every so often I’ll catch myself and think “Dude, you’re married and living in America! How in the blue hell did this happen!?!”

Let me be perfectly clear on this, I don’t regret moving here and getting married, in fact, I’m absolutely loving it. I just want to know how in the blue hell I became a ‘grown-up’ without realizing it!

I think growing up that everyone looks at their parents and think that they have everything completely under control. It’s like adults, and especially parent-adults are a completely separate species, bred solely for the purpose of being in charge, and because they were bred for it, they know exactly what they’re doing.

You world model is:

I do what I want, adults do all the hard stuff like running things, and never the twain shall meet. Do as you’re told, or don’t do as you’re told, but do your best to not get caught.


Then one day it’s like you’re dragged out of bed in the morning, handed a certificate, and someone says “Congrats! You’re an adult! Now get to it!”

…And you’re like: “Huh? How did this happen?”

Suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a test that you didn’t study for.

Answering the question “Balancing a checkbook and making a mortgage payment consists of the following steps:” is no longer answered by writing “Mum ‘n’ Dad do it.”

Now I’m in that position, and I just have to think “Who in the hell made the massive mistake of giving me RESPONSIBILITY? Are they mad? Don’t they know I’m just one of the normal folk who see getting out of bed in the morning as a massive achievement? What’s going on?”

You see, despite the fact that I’m damn near 25 years old, I’m like 99.9% of the rest of the population.

No matter how old I get, inside, I still feel like I’m about 14.


MC Etcher said...

I know exactly how you feel. And I'm 34. Ugh.

serendipity said...

I hit 30 in September and I still feel like i'm a child. In fact most days I act like a child.
This whole being a grown up and spending your money on mundane stuff like food and bills is overrated!

Kato said...

Ah, the backside of twenty. I know it well. But being a grown up ain't so bad. I mean, for every downside there is an upside. But yea, some days I wish I had no responsibilities and could look forward to things like snow days off from school, summer break, or still believing in Santa Claus. Then again, when I was a kid an wanted a toy, I had to wait for a holiday to get it. Now, I can just go out and buy it for myself.

Gladys says hello, btw.