Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy Festivus Everyone: "A Festivus for the rest of us"

Well, seeing as today is officially Christmas Eve, eve, I decided to write something Christmassy.

The following is a rhyme that my Dad taught me when I was little. He ‘altered’ it a little, as to leave out the swear words, and it’s that version I’m going to share with you today. One, because this is in my mind, the ‘official’ version…and two, my dad’s poor attempt to hide a cuss word makes this a lot funnier (at least to me) than the R-rated version could ever be:

T’was Christmas day in the workhouse, by far the happiest day of the year.
The men were full of Christmas Joy, their bellies full of beer.
And as the Workhouse Master, strode through those lofty halls.
He said “We wish you a Merry Christmas”, and someone shouted… “Shut up!”

The Workhouse Master grew angry, and swore by all his Gods!
“You’ll get no Christmas Pudding, you dirty, rotten sods!”
When up strode one young worker, his face as bold as brass:
“You can keep your Christmas puddin’…roll ‘em on the grass!”

While I’m in the mood, here’s another one:

Christmas is coming, and the goose is getting fat.
If you think you’re having turkey, you’re not, you’re having cat.
I used to believe in Santa, but my Dad makes such a fuss.
Last year I saw him run upstairs,
With two bags from Toys R Us.

1 comment:

MC Etcher said...

Cool rhymes! I'd never heard either of them before.

Wow, a Dad that doesn't cuss. I hope to be one of those some day.