Friday, December 09, 2005

A Humourous Interlude

Walking into the living room, I saw a flash of tell-tale ginger fur on top of the bookshelves. I started shouting, the cat’s been getting up there and knocking all kinds of thing off.

Half way through my tirade, I notice he hasn’t moved an inch. Closer inspection reveals that it’s not the cat, but the stuffed bunny rabbit we put up there to stop the cat from having his wicked way with it.

I feel terrible, like I’ve just verbally abused a rape victim.

I swear it’s eyes have gone even more glassy since I caught the cat humping it.


Standard response when someone sees my Master Replica’s Force FX Lightsaber.

“Huh? What’s that?”

“That’s my lightsaber.”

“Your what!?!??”

(I take it down off the shelf)

“Oh my God! You geek! You complete and utter NERD? How old are you? That’s pathetic! You big, big GEEK!”

(I turn it on, the light jumps from the handle to the tip with the movie-perfect sound. I swing it, setting off the motion sensitive ‘vwoooom’ sound. I hit it against something, getting the perfect ‘pshwting!’ clash sound. I turn it off, the light is ‘sucked’ back into the handle, again with the perfect movie noise.)

“Errrrr, Can I have a go?”

(This is also followed with a ‘how much did you ‘waste’ on that?’ and ‘where did you get it?’…meaning they want one of their own.)



8 comments:

OzzyC said...

By owning one of those light sabers, you've automatically become a nerd. By writing about it in intricate detail, you're screaming to the blogging world "I'm an UBERGEEK!"

By telling you I think it's cool, I'm admitting that I aspire to reach your level of nerdiness.

MC Etcher said...

Everyone who's ever seen the tiniest fragment of Star Wars covets the lightsaber!

You can't actually duel with the Master Replica's lightsaber can you?

I was thinking that a fight-capable lightsaber could be made using a transparent and sturdy plastic tube filled with glow-stick chemicals.

Sound effects not included...

It would be fun when the tube would break, and glowing liquid would splatter everywhere!

MC Etcher said...

PS: Can I play with it next time I come over?

PS: I'm coming over now.

Vicarious Living said...

Stuffed bunny as rape victim - very nice. No really, I thought it quite clever!

Miz S said...

Ozzy- No one will ever reach Paulius' level of geekdom when it comes to his StarWars and lightsabers.

MC-He can and HAS dueled with that thing- not realisticly- but in slo- mo and with delicate but deliberate precision. And you are probally one of the VERY FEW people he would allow to touch it.
(And if I had the money I would have one too and Paulius and I would be dueling for real.I have been wanting to take it apart and see how it works but he won't let me.)
Too bad they cost so much- it would be cool to see that special effect spatter!!!

VL-He's actually serious about the cat and the bunny. I actually feel SORRY for the stuffed bunny after seeing the cat have his way with it- not just once a day- but every-single-time he walks past it, he has to have a go at it. I have hid the bunny to stop him, but he always finds it and drags it back in the middle of the living room to do the deed.
Is there a crisis centre # I can call for the bunny?
Stupid Cat.

Paulius said...

Ozzy : I make no bones about it. I'm a geek, nerd whatever you want to call it, and I fly my geek flag proudly. (Although I have a really, really hot wife...so that might part-disqualify me)

MC Etcher : My lightsaber is the ultimate geek accesory. The blade is actually very sturdy translucent plastic, with about 200 leds down the length of it inside. You can use it to duel, although it's not recommended, and you couldn't really whack something with it. You can hit things about as hard as you'd actually want to hit a friend with a 2 meter long length of hard plastic tube.

Yes, you can play with it.

Vicarious Living : I actually felt guilty

Sunny : 'Dueled' is the wrong word. 'Played with' is more accurate. What's the point in owning a lightsaber if you're not going to swing it while wearing the waste paper basket on your head?

Oh, and it looks realistic to the naked eye. In a photo, with the lights down a little...I dare you to distinguish it from the 'real' thing.

rayray said...

Geek status unbeatable?
Wait'll I put my "Bat-suit" together and run around town jumping from rooftop to rooftop!

Miz S said...

LMAO- ray-ray, now THAT would be the ultimate geek. bat-geek that is......sadly, I can picture that.

It would be so cool.