Batting the Eyelashes.

So a few days ago, I found myself standing in the checkout line of my local Gamestop with a pre-owned copy of Resident Evil 5 in my hands.

"Resident Evil 5!" Said the way too enthusiastic check out girl. "Raaaarrrr!"

I gave a polite laugh. Sunny was waiting in the car. I just wanted to pay and leave.

"Would you like to buy a protection plan for your game?" She asked, smiling at me like a maniac. "In case it gets scratched up? It's only seven bucks."

"Nah." I said. "It's not worth it a twenty dollar game."

"Awwww." She said, acting like I'd told her she couldn't have the pony I'd promised her. After pouting for a few seconds she snapped back to her massive grin and said "…Well, would you like to pre-order anything?"

"No thanks." I said, trying to project total disinterest. Come on you dozy bint! I'm in a hurry and just want to go, can't you sense that?

"Oh, come on!" She said with a giggle. "You just have to put a few bucks down and you're guaranteed a copy on release day!"

"No thanks." I said, pointing to the copy of Resident Evil 5. "There's a reason I only buy pre-owned games."

"Ah!" She said, putting the heels of her hands on the counter and leaning forward…basically putting her cleavage into 'turbo' mode. "Then can I interest you in a discount card?"

At this point the one and one that had been vaguely floating around in my head clicked together and came up with a big, bright neon 2.

After just barely managing to suppress a laugh, I leaned in and whispered:

"Sweetheart, I know that you're probably this stores top salesperson with a routine like that, but if you'd taken a glance at the ring finger on my left hand, you wouldn't have had to waste your time."

She smiled and shrugged. "You should see my pre-order figures." She said.

I'm still not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed.