What's It Like Over There?

Sometimes I wish I could get by on that fact that here in America I’m somewhat ‘exotic’.

Today I went and registered with a couple of Temp agencies. Now I have my Greencard, and can get my Drivers Licence…it’s actually worth it.

So I walked into the place, walked up to the window.

“Excuse me.” I said. “Can I fill out an application please?”

She looked at me quizzically.

“I need two forms of ID.” She said.

So I handed her my Greencard and British Drivers Licence…she looked them over, before handing them back.

“So where are you from?” She asked.

(Observation One. Right in the middle of my Greencard, in bold letters is ‘Country of Origin : United Kingdom’…My Drivers licence also has ‘United Kingdom’ written on it. Why does she need to see ID if she’s not even looking at it? I could have handed her a card that listed my name as ‘Osama Bin Laden’ and occupation as ‘Worlds Most Wanted Terrorist’, and she wouldn’t have noticed.)

This is usually the part of the conversation where I start to feel like Biff . The same questions over and over. “What’s England like?” “Is it different to here?” “Do you have computers/cars/flushing toilets?”

So after 10 minutes of culture comparision…(Yes, I have seen Friends)…

Anyway, I sit down and start to fill out the forms. To my horror, there’s a Math Test on there.

(Random Paulius Fact #324 : I’m crap at math. I mean, I can do algebra, trigonometry and all that complicated stuff, but the bad part is my brain just can’t get around the concept of numbers. I think I have a mild case of numerical dyslexia (if there is such a thing). Essentially, the only way I can do math is to see numbers as shapes. Shapes that fit together, and make new shapes that represent new numbers.

This is easy for ‘round’ numbers…but when I have to divide 8763 by 38…I might as well be trying to explain Einstein’s Theory of Relativity to a gerbil.)

So, anyway, I do my best. I consider writing the answer to the ones I can’t get my head around as “Start, Accessories, Calculator”, but think better of it.

Most of it is fairly easy…but I leave a couple unanswered…for the simple reason I’d be working at it for a couple of hours and probably end up with the wrong answers anyway.

I still have a problem though. The form has a huge list of skills that you tick off the ones you have experience in. My problem is that they’re all manufacturing skills. So I’ve not ticked any.

I go back to the window, and this time a different girl comes to collect my forms. I say:

“I’ve not ticked off any skills, I’m qualified for Office and Admin work, and I didn’t see any on there. Do you have a different form for that or something?”

She looked at me for a second and said:

“I like the way you talk.”

“Ummm… ok?” I replied. “But do you have a different form?”

“Where are you from?” She asked, completely ignoring my question.

“(Sigh) England.”

“Oh? Is it nice there?”

So you see, if I could get work over here based on the fact that I have an accent…I’d be rolling in the money.