Wahhhh!

Last night as Sunny was leaving for work, I noticed she’d separated a couple piles of laundry.

So, being in a generous mood, I took that laundry and put it in the washing machine…without being asked.

Right now, all the women in the audience are getting ready to flame me. Why do I think doing something as simple as a load of laundry is worth mentioning? Why do I feel I deserve credit for doing laundry?

Because I’m a guy.

For us, the washing machine is a half-step away from ‘Dabbling with the Unknown’.

Women often wonder why we men expect a lot of credit for doing something they tend to do totally automatically without thinking.

Basically, in the male way of thinking, anything you do regularly becomes your job. If we do it for you, we’re doing you a favor.

Let’s look at this from the opposite angle. If you gave your car an oil change, put up new dry-wall or hooked up the new surround sound system by yourself, basically did anything typically male that your husband or boyfriend would normally do…wouldn’t you expect a little credit?

In short, Sunny was getting ready to do some laundry, and I went ahead and spontaneously did it for her. In my book, this makes what I did a good thing and favor.

So I checked that no whites where mixed in with the coloreds, and separated it into two loads. (I’ve been told again and again not to overload the washing machine).

Anyway, I get up this morning and sit down in the living room. For the laundry room I hear the following:

“Dammit! Sweetie?”

I suppress the urge to just run.

“Yes?”

“Didn’t I tell you that this was two loads! These clothes are still wet!”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, little lady. You said not to overload the washing machine, you never said anything about dry load size. It all fit into the dryer with space to spare!

“I did wash it in two loads, sweetie. I just put it all in the dryer at once.”

“Well, it’s all still damp!”

At this point, I chose to shut up.

Ladies, play close attention.

This is why we don’t do shit around the house. We do laundry, wash dishes, cook and vacuum. We do this without being asked. We do this as a favor to you.

Then, inevitably, you complain because we didn’t do it right.

In other words, ladies, we’re like children, we want our pat on the head…even if it’s just for trying. When your 4 year old hands you a macaroni and glue picture they made at school, you don’t complain because the macaroni isn’t glued down properly.