It’s magic!

Regular readers will know about my proposed 'Stupid Law', a law that aims to punish acts of extreme stupidity rather than reward them. For example, when some complete idiot decides to use a toaster while in the bath and somehow survives, he wouldn't get a large cash payout from the toaster manufacturers because they didn't specifically state that their toaster shouldn't be used under water…he'd go to jail.

Well, I have a new law to complement the first.

Today I stumbled across a question on 'Yahoo Answers' from an adult woman asking if there was a spell that could turn her into a mermaid.

Ok, let me work on this for a second first. She claimed she'd had enough of wars and people fighting and wanted to 'leave it all behind'. Her answer, of course, was to become a mermaid and live in the sea.

Putting the ridiculousness of turning into a mermaid aside, why do people have this Disney-esque view of nature? If you don't like wars and fighting, going to live with the animals is the last place you want to go. Sure, human kind has guns…but nature pretty much boils down to: "Fight and kill for whatever you need to survive, then fight and kill to keep it." Try watching a few National Geographic documentaries instead of Disney movies, that'll give you the general idea.

Anyway, this girl isn't really what inspired this post. You see, one adult who believes in magic is really pathetic and sad, but there are weirdos everywhere. The thing that really made me shake my head where the comments. The vast majority of the people commenting where berating her for her claiming to be a witch, when everyone knows that real witches can't turn into mermaids and if she really was a witch or did any research at all she'd know that.

That's right. People weren't having a go at her for believing magic is real and wanting to turn into a mermaid. They were getting angry because they were 'real' witches and this girl was making them look bad. I mean, they go into the woods at midnight wearing long black gowns and burn incense and chant a spell to make that guy hey like fall in love with them…but turning into a mermaid…that's crazy!

This is where the new law comes in.

You see, I have no problem with retards spicing up their pathetic little lives by hanging around with other retards and pretending magic is real. I don't care if my next door neighbor decides to call herself Cassandra Mysterio-Stormwind and wears a homemade black velvet gown with stars sewn into it.

Basically, if you believe in magic and spells, that's fine…you just shouldn't be allowed to vote.

I don't think that's too unreasonable, right?

If you're from the developed world and still believe in magic in 2010, I'm sorry to be the one to inform you, but you just don't have the intelligence or reasoning ability to cast a vote.

The best thing about this law is there's absolutely no way to fight it. When the witches and warlocks complain about being denied a ballot, you just tell them to use their magic to reverse the law or make the candidate they like be elected. It's perfect. Any actual legal action they take is, in itself, proof that magic isn't real. Why start a lawsuit when you can chuck some random shit into a cauldron, chant over it and get whatever you want?