They hated each other three days ago.

Everyone say it with me: D'aaaaawwwwwwwwwww.

Anger doesn’t even START to cover it

Sometimes things happen that make you unbelievably angry. Then you learn the whole story and somehow get even angrier.

Ok, a few weeks ago, my stepson 'accidentally' took my camera to his girlfriend's house, then his girlfriend moved to another state without telling anyone and took my camera with her.

As you can imagine, I was more than a little pissed off. As well as massive sentimental value, the camera cost me $850 back when I first got it. Also, the memory card had a ton of pictures on it that I really didn't want to lose. Pictures of my parents visit… but most of all, it had a few pictures of Jake on it, the pet Border Collie I'd had since I was 12 years old that died earlier this year.

Now, as mad as I was, I couldn't really blame my stepson for this. It was definitely his fault it went missing, but nothing was exactly deliberate. Sunny had moved the camera onto a chair while looking for something, where it got mixed up into a pile of my stepson's laundry that he came and picked up.

Well a few weeks later his girlfriend shows up again, they get back together and I get my camera back. His girlfriend apparently 'accidentally' packed it by mistake.

To be completely honest, the whole thing sounded fishy, but I got my camera back, so I figured no harm no foul.

Well, yesterday I charged the battery for the first time since getting it back.

It was fucking broken. You turn it on and the screen says 'remove lens cap', even when the lens cap is off. I messed with it for almost an hour and couldn't fix it. It's obviously been dropped or had something spilled on it and the motor that controls the lens is busted. My $850 camera is a fucking paperweight.

Now, here's the part that really takes the fucking cake. The camera is just a thing. It was a very expensive thing and meant almost as much to me as my guitar did before that was stolen…so when I realized it was beyond repair, I took a little comfort in knowing that at the very least I had my pictures back.

So I took out the memory card, put it into the card reader in the front of my computer…

Every…single…fucking…one of my pictures had been deleted, and in their place were about 70+ pictures of my stepson, his girlfriend and a bunch of fucking people I don't know.

So, I was pissed when I just thought it had been stolen. Instead, it turns out that upon discovering they had it, they figured the best course of action wasn't to return it, but to wipe the memory card, take a bunch of fucking pictures and generally treat it badly enough to break it.

Now, I just might be being weird here, but if I accidentally picked up someone's $850 camera and took it to a strangers house with me, when I discovered I had it, I'd do one of two things: Take it straight back, or put it in a safe place until I could return it or its rightful owner could come and get it.

What I wouldn't do is wipe the memory card, use it to take pictures of a family party, and then return it with a broken lens motor without so much as a sorry.

It's really nice to know that someone thinks you and your things are worthy of that level or respect.

I wonder how he'd feel if he left his phone at my house and I deleted all his numbers, all his pictures, games and downloads off it, ran up an $850 bill…then dumped water on it to fry it before returning it to him.

Just so you understand…

So earlier today, my mother in law was over to visit, when she produced a generic MP3 player she'd gotten for Christmas, handed it to me and said "Here, show me what to do with this."

I felt my blood freeze. I was about to enter the seventh level of family tech support hell. Now, I've been called a curmudgeon over things like this before and asked why I make such a big deal over someone simply asking for my help. Well, the reason I make such a big deal is that, as a 'computer guy', what I get asked to do is rarely what the person actually wants me to do.

You see, the person thinks they're just asking for help, but what they're really asking me is to take two or three hours worth of information on a topic they know nothing about and condense it into a couple of sentences that they'll grasp instantly with zero effort.

My mother in law 'just wants to listen to music on her mp3 player'… but to teach her how to do that, first I need to teach her how to use a computer (beyond playing solitaire). Then I need to teach her how to use the internet (first showing her how to get internet service, buy a router and set up a wireless network for her laptop). Then I have to each her how to use iTunes, Rhapsody or any other number of online music stores. Then I have to teach her how to install and use the software that came with her player and how to sync her music library with her mp3 player.

…and that's before I've even shown her how to turn her mp3 player on and how to work the device itself.

You see, it's not the helping I have a problem with. If someone's actually willing to learn, I'm more than happy to spend a few hours walking someone through something. Hell, doing just that is how I met my wife. However, as a rule, people don't want to spend a couple of hours learning how something works. They want a quick, thirty second answer…no matter how unreasonable that expectation may be.

What my mother in law wanted, specifically, was for me to say something like "Put the player next to your computer, press the big red button and then all your favorite music is automatically on the player."

The big problem, however, is when you express a reluctance to start this train wreck, the vast majority of people think you're refusing to help them because you just can't be bothered. Then, when you do try to help you get accused of deliberately making things complicated and using 'jargon', even when that jargon is as simple as using a term like 'USB Cable'

Now, here's the big secret. 90% of the time, the 'computer guy' you're asking for help knows as little about the gadget in question as you do. All we do differently is we read the manual and follow the instructions. It really is that simple. You open that book that came with your widget, and follow the step-by-step instructions.

All I ask is that next time you find yourself reaching for the phone or getting in the car you go see your computer guy, ask yourself if you've read the manual…but most of all, ask yourself if you're willing to spend a few hours listening and learning. We're not magic. We can't make something that's complicated into something simple. If you're not willing to put in the time and effort (and most of all, put aside the notion that anything you don't grok immediately is forever beyond you)…just don't bother, take the gadget back to the store or call a professional (read: paid) tech support guy instead.

I'm not saying the professional will make things any easier, but at least they're being paid to deal with you.

One of the Funniest Things I've Read All Year:

"Yo momma's so fat, her Patronus is a cake."

COD: Modern Warfare 2

This isn't a review exactly. Regular readers will know I was really on the fence as whether to get MW2, but after my amazing wife bought it for me for Christmas, I'm incredibly happy with it, and thought I'd clear up some of the reasons why you may be on the fence too.

The first thing that made me think twice was when I heard the single player campaign was just five hours long. While this is true, it's not exactly fair to call this a short game.

First of all, 5 hours is short, but it's not unforgivable for a straight up shooter…but secondly, once you've finished the single player campaign (which took me almost exactly five hours playing on regular), you can play the 'Special Ops' mode.

'Special Ops' consists of around thirty missions designed mainly for co-op play, but can be played single player as well. The Special Ops missions have a ton of replay value and there's lots of variation. Some are based around stealth (get from A to B without alerting any guides), sniping (successfully hold off 'x' waves of bad guys), straight up shooting (kill 'x' number of bad guys without accidentally killing 'x' number of civilians)…and lots more game types, including a snow-mobile race.

I say these have a ton of replay value because not only do they have multiple difficulty settings (which in turn award you more 'stars' for completion), there's always the drive the beat your old time or kill count. Co-op adds a whole new level, especially on the two or three co-op only missions…my favorite of which is a mission where one player fights on the ground while the other covers him from an AC130 gunship.

Basically, I think the few negative reviews of MW2 come down mostly to the sheer amount of hype that surrounded the game pre-launch. After waiting a month to buy it, and having my expectations lowered below "OMFG this is going to be the best game EVAR!", it really is an awesome, awesome game.

In fact, the only real downside to the whole single player experience is…well…you remember those few awesome set pieces from the first Modern Warfare, such as the ending on the bridge, or the Nuke aftermath? Well, it turns out that Infinity Ward liked those set pieces as well and decided to fit as many in as possible...which means that by 2 hours into the game I was cynically awaiting the next big plot twist, double cross or betrayal.

Having said that, the actual missions are varied and fun, and you get to do a lot of cool stuff.

Oh, and as long as Infinity Ward pulls their finger out and provides some patches to stop the glitching and cheating going on online, there's no reason why the multiplayer shouldn't be a hell of a lot of fun as well.