A GOOD Day.

Mark today down in your calendar, boys and girls, for today is the first time ever that your good friend Paulius is not pissed at something.

When you’re not working, your days all kinda merge together. For the past year I’ve been going to bed, getting up, looking for a job online, watching a bit of TV, playing on the computer, eating something and going back to bed. For the two years prior to that, I did the same thing minus the job search, because I didn’t have a work permit.

For those of you that think that sounds like heaven next to your daily grind of working, let me tell you, it’s fun for the first few weeks…after three years it gets old.

That’s why days like today are a breath of fresh air.

I woke up today, and it was the first time in three days that I didn’t have to cough so hard that I nearly passed out. My flu is officially on the way out. Plus, the past few days forced me to cut back significantly on my cigarette consumption so hopefully that’ll be a head-start on cutting back and quitting.

So what else has made me so happy?

Well, first of all, my guitar case sold for more than I was expecting it to on eBay. A nice last-minute bidding war broke out, so I’m happy about that…so even after getting nickel-and-dimed by eBay, I’ve still got a tidy profit.

Then secondly, I decided to cash out some of my Lindens from Second Life. I sold roughly half of my ‘liquid assets’, and got a tidy little sum. Only about $70US, but that made me really happy. Not only because it’s technically money made from dicking around in photoshop and having fun, but because it actually made me feel productive for once.

The third highlight was getting to talk to Saffy on AIM for an hour or so. Have I mentioned I how much fun this girl is? If you’ve never read her blog, go check it out. There’s nothing like talking to a true, sarky Brit when you want your sarcasm batteries recharged.

Finally, I made a decision about what to do with the money from selling my guitar case.

My first thought was obviously to use the money to buy a new guitar, but I just couldn’t bring myself to buy another one. Why? Well, it’s because my old guitar (the one that got stolen) was a Gibson SG. All I could afford to buy with the proceeds from selling its case is one of those ‘First Act’, compressed fiber-board specials.

It’s be like driving a Dodge Viper for years and years, then getting it stolen, and replacing it with a 1981 Ford Fiesta.

So I decided to spend the money on something I’ve always wanted, which is a decent keyboard (musical that is, not ‘qwerty’). I actually owned a piano in England, and only got so far learning how to play it when I moved. Plus I couldn’t afford lessons.

So, I’ve found myself a decent keyboard that I can hook up to the PC and learn to play through interactive lessons on the computer. Obviously, I’ve not bought it yet, but I found a site that had MP3 recordings made by it, and the sound quality is awesome.

This sounds really, really odd, but getting my guitar stolen is probably the worst thing that happened to me since moving to the states. (The musicians in the audience will know what that feels like), and somehow, using the money from my old guitar case to buy a new musical instrument, especially one I’ve always wanted to learn kinda gives me closure.

Anyway, that’s enough from me, how was your day.

PS. Great Joke I heard on “The Munsters” today:

Someone invented a device that makes your car quieter. It fits right over her mouth.

eBay Can Suck My Balls

So I finally dipped my toe into the tepid, scam-infested waters of eBay.

My regular readers will know that last year my beloved Gibson SG guitar got stolen. Realizing that it’s going to be a long time before I’ll be able to replace it, I decided to sell the full flight spec case I bought to ship it to America.

Now, eBay sounds good. The truth is I want to sell this case, even if it’s just enough to get a little back on the large investment I made on it. (This is a full flight-spec case that cost around 250 GBP…nearly $500 US).

Now, I know I won’t get anywhere near full price for it, and the downside is that it’s a bit of a specialty item. It’s not just a generic guitar case, only a Gibson SG will fit in it.

So, the chances of me putting out a local ad and finding someone in the area who has an SG and needs an absolutely top of the line case are pretty slim.

Basically, eBay is the answer. The chances of there being someone in America who needs a case is much higher.

However, I was totally disappointed with how eBay and Paypal (also owned by eBay) try and nickel and dime you to death.

Some of the charges are fair and make sense. A listing fee, fees for extra pictures…but that’s where fair ends and ‘screwing you with micro-payments’ begins.

Here’s what I mean. I’m paying eBay to list my case. But then I have to pay a percentage of the final purchase price if it sells. You also have to pay an extra fee to list your item with a reserve price. Why? What difference does it make? You’re paying them to list your item if it sells or not and the higher the final purchase price, the more they get when it does sell. Also, you pretty much have to use paypal (unless you want the buyer to mail you a check, put it in the bank, wait for it to clear etc) and it turns out paypal is bullshit.

For example, it sounds good when you sign up, but to offer paypal on eBay, you have to accept credit card payments as well. Why is this a bad thing? Because in order to accept credit card payments through paypal, you need a ‘premier’ paypal account…which basically means they can now charge to a percentage of all paypal transactions.

In other words, you’re not allowed to say ‘I take paypal, but not from credit or debit cards’, you’re forced to ‘upgrade’ to a premier account and premier apparently means “we can take more of your money”.

So basically, here’s the deal.

I pay to list my item.

I pay extra to add an extra picture

I pay extra to put a reserve price on my item.

eBay takes a percentage of the final purchase price.

Paypal takes a percentage of your money when your buyer pays.

That’s only if you want a basic listing. If you want a picture next to your listing, that’s extra as well, if you want your listing in bold, that’s extra.

Seriously, eBay…why not just say “ten bucks to list your item”, instead of advertising a a buck per listing, and then nickel and diming your customers to death.

Oh, and I also used the ‘feature’, where you put in the weight and dimensions of your item, and it automatically tells your buyer how much it will cost to ship your item to them. I only realized after it was listed that this doesn’t actually include packing materials like the box and packing peanuts.

I suppose what really bugs me about this is that every eBay auction makes eBay at least two bucks…with millions of auctions being put up every day they’re making silly money. Charging for things that don’t cost them any more money, like reserve prices is just a kick in the balls to their customers.

The Dreaded Cat-flu

Ok, I’m ill. Really, really ill. In fact, I’m so ill that today, for the first time ever, I asked someone to go to the pharmacy for some, and I quote, “crazy-ass, make-you-feel-better shit.”

This is unusual for me because your standard over the counter stuff just never seems to work on me. I can take all the Tylenol I like, but it won’t shift a headache. However, today I was desperate.

The scariest thing, however, is that I think I caught this from the cat.

About a week ago, Spook started sneezing like crazy. His eyes were watering and he’d just lie down next to the heater and stay there. Unfortunately, because one of his favorite places to relax was on my shoulder, on a couple of occasions I caught a kitty-sneeze directly to the face.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t an illness jumping the species gap a seriously bad thing? Doesn’t this make my cute little kitten some kind of Typhoid Mary? In a few days, will the newspapers be filled with stories about the dreaded cat-flu, the one that makes the bird-flu look like a mild case of the sniffles?

Anyway, just in case this kills me, on my headstone I want the following written, right in the center in tiny writing so you have to get right up close to read it:

You’re standing on my balls.

Irrational Fears...

What if Don King accidentally used volumising shampoo and conditioner instead of regular stuff?

You'd be able to see that shit from space!

Ways to Amuse Yourself #217

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